A life changing idea that’s available to anyone who wants to look for it.

That’s the thing about reading. There are so many hidden gems for us to find but if we don’t read, how are we any different from a person who’s illiterate?

Now it’s always best to develop systems for the various areas of our lives. Systems for working out, building strong relationships, work, etc. Systems are important because they allow you to be consistent and help build a strong foundation. Systems allow you to do without thinking too much so you can reserve that thinking power for better things.

But for most people, they only have part of the pieces of the puzzle for these various systems. Those that occasionally read gather other pieces of the puzzle, but they’re always missing that one piece.

That one missing key.

It’s infuriating because you KNOW you’re so close, yet so far.

What the heck do you do?

Keep reading.

And keep applying what you read and soon you’ll be able to find the puzzle piece that completes it FOR YOU.

Because the last puzzle piece that snaps into place for you will be different from others.

Let’s take the classic example of exercise.

We all know we should do it but it the idea of it is so unappealing to most people.

Spending 20 minutes on the elliptical is boring, but some have managed to find their puzzle piece to stick to that exercise regimen.

How?

When they read an idea in a book on making things they hate to do fun. With that new puzzle piece, they can then figure out how to make the idea of working out on the elliptical something they can look forward to, something enjoyable for them.

Some bring their phones and tablets to watch TV shows and movies while working out. Others read. Others use that time to listen to audiobooks.

That’s the big missing puzzle piece for them.

The big missing puzzle piece that allows them to “complete” the system for exercising.

And now that they have a system for exercising, they have more energy, energy to do more things, and that begins to snowball and create results in other areas of their life.

Their “exercise system” can now be put on the backburner so to speak.

That great “ah ha”! feeling of finding the missing puzzle piece of a system is one of the best feelings in life.

When you read about something and try it out and find that it’s just THE thing that works for you – there’s nothing quite like that feeling, especially if you were struggling so hard in that area in the first place.

You may be struggling with a puzzle right now but keep reading and applying what you learn and you’ll eventually find it.

Sometimes the puzzle piece is right in front of us and we need to read it 100 times and different things need to happen for us to finally see it because only then will we be ready to see it.

I highly recommend spending at least 1 hour a day reading. Now that may be too much in one sitting so spread it out throughout the day. 20 minutes when you wake up, 20 minutes before you go to sleep and 20 minutes you can grab throughout the day.

And here’s the thing. Usually when you find the missing puzzle piece for one puzzle, you’ll find it’s one of the major missing pieces for another puzzle, so other puzzles get solved quicker because they’re all related.

If you do that, you’ll be able to find the missing puzzle pieces to so many puzzles, finish those puzzles, have multiple systems ready to go, and soon have multiple systems running in the background, helping you 24/7, creating all sorts of great results in your life.

It’s really an amazing journey to undertake.

Imagine finding all the missing puzzle pieces and thereby “completing” the various systems of your life.

It will definitely become a well oiled machine.

The post You’re Always One Idea Away So Keep Reading appeared first on Think Deep.

What used to give us pleasure doesn’t anymore. We’re never satisfied so it’s easy to get depressed.

We need a bigger, better car, house, vacation, food, clothes, etc.

And it doesn’t help that the media is constantly telling us we need all these things in order to be happy.

We go on the treadmill, adapt to the pleasure (hedonism), and need stronger and stronger stimulants to give us the same pleasure as before, thereby putting us on this race that we can’t win which leads to very dangerous behavior.

If this isn’t dealt with, it can get really out of hand in so many different ways, emotionally, financially, socially, etc.

So how do you counter hedonic adaptation?

There doesn’t seem to be any way out.

We know that more will never end and if we stay where we are, we’re so dissatisfied.

What the heck do we do?

The solution is right in front of our eyes but it’s so easy to miss.

Rather than always wanting more to get our fix, we should be focusing on WAY LESS and what I mean by that is not getting rid of all our stuff and living a minimal life, although that can help.

I’m talking about thinking about what your life would be like with EXTREME LOSS of what you have.

Think about what your life would be like without your family, friends, your car, your house, your laptop, phone, and you begin to see that kind of life would be REALLY bad.

It would really suck right? You’re miserable, you’re lonely, life is a slog, you have to do 10 times as much work to get the same result had you had all those things.

If ONLY there was a magical genie who could get you all that stuff back.

There IS – and it’s YOU, and once you get out of that thought experiment and realize that everything you’ve missed you now have – your life is pretty damn good!

And guess what?

That’s the SAME LIFE YOU’RE LIVING RIGHT NOW.

Realize NOTHING in your environment has changed.

NOTHING.

Only your perception has changed.

Now this doesn’t mean we should never seek pleasure in external things. It’s OK to enjoy life but we need to change our approach.

If you think about it, the majority of our pleasure comes from the ANTICIPATION, not the exact experience itself.

We’ve all had the experience of planning a vacation and soaking in the anticipation of it, counting down the days, dreaming what it would be like, looking forward to it, and we went on the vacation and that was good and now it’s back to the day to day life.

Now that you know anticipating is key, it behooves you to SPREAD OUT your pleasures.

Conventional thinking dictates pleasure should be 24/7 but you get used to it and require bigger and bigger amounts to experience the same amount of pleasure and by following this path, you lose the ability to experience small joys.

A person who can fully experience the small joys in life will gain MORE pleasure than a person who needs to fly a jet to an island and party all the time.

We’ve internalized these rules in our minds that the only way can enjoy life is if we do things that cost a lot of money and do it all the time.

Along with spacing pleasure out to anticipate it, it’s also good to ROTATE pleasure so you don’t get used to things. Change where you eat, where you go, what pleasurable activities you do, etc.

This way, it’s harder to adapt and you keep everything in check.

By meditating on what our life would be like WITHOUT the many things we currently have in our life, by spacing out our pleasures and savoring their anticipation, and by rotating our pleasures, we can escape the hedonic treadmill that ensnares so many and end up having a more pleasurable life than a billionaire who needs constant pleasure 24/7, seeking bigger and better things just to feel the same amount of pleasure we get from sipping a cup of green tea while looking at the sun rise in the early morning.

The post How to Counter Hedonic Adaptation appeared first on Think Deep.

Here’s the first long benefit of staying present most people miss. People who are not present are constantly plagued by opportunity costs. While watching their kid’s soccer game, they’re thinking of all the other things they could be doing. Responding to work email, catching up on reading, binge watching TV shows but here’s the thing.

If you wonder about opportunity cost in that instance, then you’re doing it all over the place which creates HUGE mental baggage.

What if I married this person, what if I moved to that city instead, what if I had this career – by not staying present, you’re training your mind to wander in terms of other opportunities you could be experiencing. That’s not good because it’s SO easy to feel bad about all the things you could’ve been experiencing had you pursued those other opportunities. When you’re present, there’s no room for that so your mind feels very “light”. There’s no back and forth going on in your mind all the time wondering if you made the “right choice”.

The second long term benefit of staying present most people miss is that it allows you to build a strong foundation. When you build a brick wall, brick by brick, if you’re not present in every brick you lay, if you’re wondering about other things, if you’re doing other things, you’re going to have a funky looking brick wall. A brick wall that could easily fall down.

But when you stay present and lay each brick as best you can, then you’ve got a pretty strong wall going and life gets a whole lot easier down the road as a result. Much easier to build on top of a strong foundation than a shaky one.

The third long term benefit of staying present is that your experience of life is so much richer because you’re all there. You’re fully connected in the moment. And it feels good. And because it feels good, you’re that much more likely to do it.

But why does it feel so good? Here’s why. When you’re not present, you’re either thinking about the past or the future. If you keep thinking about the past, chances are your future is going to repeat itself because you can’t let go of the past. You begin to use that history to prove to yourself it’s just going to be more of the same.

If you’re thinking about the future, then you’re anxious about all the things that can go wrong.

But if you’re present, you avoid those two traps. The past has no hold on you and neither does the future. You’re in the moment, you experience everything there is, and you avoid those two pits of despair that dwelling on the past and future can bring upon you.

So when you’re at your kid’s soccer game and you’re fully present, you’re not thinking about opportunity costs spanning across multiple scenarios in your life. You’re not plagued by all the mental baggage that comes along with it that so many people bear onto their shoulders. You’re building a strong relationship with your kid that will pay dividends down the road. You’re soaking in every moment of the experience, fully feeling the pride and joy of watching your child play without being plagued by the downward spirals of the past or the future.

And it all feels so good.

In fact, it feels so good, you’re willing to give it a shot in other areas of your life.

On your commute to work. When you work out. When having a conversation with your friend.

And it seems like life for the first time “pops”. The world is more colorful. It’s more vibrant.

Biting into a juicy ripe strawberry gives you just as much pleasure now compared to eating at a five start restaurant before.

Because you’re present, your life becomes richer in every area of your life.

Now like all things, this will be two steps forward, one step back. You’ll make some headway, then forget about being present, then get angry at yourself for forgetting, try again, make more headway, slip up again, and on and on and on, but eventually you’ll get the hang of it and you’ll become present in everything you do.

Washing your face and brushing your teeth will have never felt so good.

These are the subtle long term benefits of staying present that most people miss.

Once known and implemented, you’ll find staying present is pretty close to bliss.

The post 3 Long Term Benefits of Staying Present Most People Miss appeared first on Think Deep.

Everybody wants to be somebody else and in the process, just put layer upon layer upon layer over their true selves until one day they wake up and just find themselves completely lost.

I’m a FIRM believer that each and every one of us has something about us that makes us unique. A cluster of great qualities and attributes that define us.

But some people can’t seem to find it.

Among those, are the ones who always look for the bad in other people so by habit, they also only look for and focus on the bad in themselves.

The ones who can find the good in others can usually find the good in themselves as well.

It’s important to identify what that those core clusters of great qualities we have are so that we can construct a strong, articulate identity, something you can use as a foundation for all sorts of things in your life.

Without knowing this, you’ll go through life, never feeling like you can “fit” because you’re this amorphous blob. You don’t know what “shape” you are so you don’t know where you can best “plug in”.

The result is you find yourself in the wrong job, with the wrong partner, with the wrong friends, etc., and as a result, you get really, really, really tired. You get exhausted from keeping up the façade because it takes so much energy simply because you’re not being you.

Is it “hard” to be you?

Does it take a lot of energy?

To simply BE?

Now let’s say you’re a quiet person.

If you’re a quiet person, there’s no need to feel like you have to party it up every weekend. You don’t have to be a social butterfly 24/7. If you do, and your job requires it, your friends go out all the time, you marry someone who’s extremely extroverted, chances are your life is going to be all out of whack.

Your life doesn’t fit you because you are not being you.

Now let’s say there’s this aspiring actor. He’s a bit out of shape, doesn’t have that much charisma, and isn’t all that too smooth with the ladies. Now imagine if all he does is audition for the lead role in these heroic, epic, adventure love story movies. Chances are, no matter how good his acting, it’s not going to be a good fit for him.

BUT, is that the ONLY role to play in Hollywood?

Must you have the dashing good looks, six pack, charisma, wealth, etc., because that’s the only role there is?

Of course not.

There’s roles all over the place.

The regular Joe The sidekick. The intense person. The shy person. The artist. The thinker.

There are a plethora of roles, not just the one popular one.

I use this analogy just to show that there’s a part for EVERYBODY, not just the stereotypical popular one.

BE YOU and find YOUR part. Don’t try to be a part that’s not you because it will never work when you try to fit.

Those who have excelled in life have found who they are.

They’ve owned that identity and as a result, find that they can easily “plug” it in their lives accordingly.

They are the ones who people deem authentic.

They know who they are and leverage it accordingly. They don’t try to be anybody else.

Just themselves.

And they fully come to realize it’s the perfect part for them.

The post The Importance of You Being You appeared first on Think Deep.

Here you are, going about your day, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, all is well and then “IT” happens.

BOOM.

The world as you know it turned upside down.

Panic ensues.

The worst case scenarios start playing through your mind.

You want to curl up in a ball and die.

The initial reaction of probably everybody on the planet, save for a few Zen masters.

What do you do?

Do you try to nip it in the bud or do you allow yourself to go through the “hit by a curveball” grieving process?

At this point in time, none of that is probably on your mind at all. Your mind is a going a million miles an hour at this point and can’t really “center” to make decisions. It’s just going by pure instinct.

So it’s likely you’ll stay in this panicky stage until you’re down.

WAY DOWN.

At that point, just breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Get back to the present by focusing and concentrating on your breathing.

Breathe slowly and deeply.

Then simply go to work on identifying what you can control and go on controlling what you can to resolve the issue.

The longer you abstain from working on the issue, the scarier that mental chatter in your head becomes.

Do as much “roll up your sleeve” work as you can. Ask for help and advice from other people. Do the best you can. It will alleviate the pressure.

But the most important thing that occurs from all this is what you have to take away when the dust settles.

Appreciate the message.

Appreciate the message of that huge curveball.

It’s a wake up call.

Things aren’t always going to be the same.

Change is inevitable.

And what I love about this wake up call is that it makes you RE-EVALUATE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.

The things you were so sure of – not so sure anymore.

The things you believed so strongly in – not so much anymore.

The things you thought you wanted – don’t want as much anymore.

It’s a reset of your life. And it’s a beautiful thing because it FORCES you to do so. So many people are content to avoid doing this but eventually, it will be forced upon you like it has everybody else.

EVERYBODY has their own story of their huge curveball but if you look at the epilogue of that story – you’ll see it’s pretty much a good thing. People are better off because of it.

Why?

When the dust settles, is where the best part of the curveball is because it gives you “blank slate change energy”.

Everything you thought about life gets wiped clean and you are able to paint with a fresh canvas.

You not only have that opportunity – you have the change energy to go with it.

You see, some people never get the blank slate, let alone the energy. But the two go hand in hand. The blank slate gives you the energy to paint broad strokes on a pure white canvas whereas if your canvas is already painted on, you only tend to make small, narrow strokes here and there, so you don’t “mess up” your current painting of life so nothing ever really changes.

This is also a pivotal point because of that blank canvas.

You can use that energy to paint something dark, or paint something more hopeful.

And whatever you decide to “paint” will dictate how you change as a person until your next curveball hits you.

Will you paint “the world is against me!” and live always in reaction, or will you paint “life happens but I always have the power to choose how to respond to it and make it work toward my advantage” and live a life of personal power?

The choice is yours.

You’re back to that point where your life has the power to TRULY change.

To start fresh.

To start anew.

It’s only up to you on how you want it to.

The post What to Do When Life Throws You a Huge Curveball Out of Nowhere appeared first on Think Deep.

That other end of the spectrum being doing absolutely freaking nothing.

I’m talking about doing nothing in the sense of doing nothing related to what you normally would do on a given day.

I mean just FREE time where you have absolutely nothing on your mind but what’s going on around you right now.

I’m not necessarily talk about sitting down, crossing your legs, meditating, although you can certainly do that.

I’m just talking about having an ideally long period of free time where you can just do what you want that you normally wouldn’t do.

What should you do with that free time?

Let’s say you have a day free.

It’s easy to carry over your to-do list on that day in terms of planning the day out entirely but if you’re just crossing items off a list during that time, it kind of defeats the whole purpose of doing nothing.

Yes, you can have some structure in the sense of where you’re going to go but that should be the extent of it.

You want spontaneity. Curiosity. You want to stay present, not wonder if it’s time to do the next thing on your list.

Deplug yourself from email, work, the past, the future. Focus on what’s going on now.

Having that time and freedom is a great, great luxury. You have to think that way because it really is. Way more luxurious than having a mansion and a Lamborghini in the garage because those things take away this precious gift of free time.

Think about it.

Why do we work?

So we can have leisure time.

That’s why we ultimately do it.

And yes you can love your work too and say it’s not really work but there’s something to be said for cutting off all the strings to work and just enjoying life.

Eating new cuisine.

Savoring the gelato in your moth

Taking a new hike. Smelling the flowers.

Doing nothing but what you want, just in that day.

And you don’t have to travel far.

Explore around where you live. Chances are, you haven’t really explored all the nooks and crannies of your city. Sure you’ve driven by the streets, but when you walk them, you see so much more.

New restaurants to eat at.

New hobbies to try.

New conversations to have with “new” people.

You would think this would be really easy to do but you’ll find it’s actually mentally hard.

Your mind will fight you saying you could be doing so many other things right now and that you’re wasting your time and if left unchecked, you could let this bother you and ruin your day.

OR you can use this as a chance to practice CALMING your mind, saying that you understand what it’s saying, but that this is your reward for working hard the past few days. You’re going to relax now and set aside all that.

Your mind will also try to sabotage you by judging what you choose to do with your free day. It will try to make you think you made such a bad choice with that new dish you tried out, but didn’t really like. It will try to make you think you’re stupid for trying out that new dance class while you stumble about the steps. It will try to make you second guess yourself for all the decisions you made on your free day just to get you back to what’s comfortable – your normal daily routine.

But instead of fighting it, you can calm it.

You can learn to calm your mind and to tell it not to judge.

And when you do that, you’ll find your mind will relax and give you those great ideas.

Those ones that will change your life.

Why?

Your subconscious works best when relaxed.

I remember hearing about a business owner who closed down his shop for one full year, every seven years. During that one year, he did nothing. He indulged himself. He traveled. He let inspiration come to him.

Guess what.

The ideas he had during that one year proved to be the ideas that his business would implement for the next 7 years, ideas that would prove to be VERY beneficial financially.

While this whole notion of doing nothing might seem to be related to laziness in some sort of way, it’s actually not.

Think about it.

If you want this, you really have to plan for it.

You have to budget your time AND money for it.

You have to really get your work done so you can enjoy your free time stress free, without having those nagging work feelings come into your mind throughout the day.

So there’s value not only in experiencing the free time, but preparing for it as well.

If you haven’t really done this for yourself, I highly suggest you do. Not only will you look forward to doing it more often, you’ll find that in preparing for those days, you find yourself more productive and that on the days where you do nothing, in hindsight, see that you did indeed do a whole lot without even realizing it.

The post How to Enjoy the Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing appeared first on Think Deep.

Look at the underlying basis of gambling.

Getting money for doing nothing. Getting money for being of absolutely no service, value, or help to others. Relying on chance instead of your own personal responsibility.

The act itself is rooted in greed.

By constantly gambling, you constantly think – let me try to get something for nothing.

When you lose the money you’re gambling, what do you do?

Ask other people for money.

Another form of getting something for nothing.

When that option runs out, what do gamblers do?

They start stealing to support their gambling addiction.

Another form of getting something for nothing.

And here’s what most people don’t seem to notice about gambling.

The people who gamble because they need money – they lose it.

Why?

Because they’re too emotionally invested.

They’re too attached to the money they’re gambling with.

The people who “win” at gambling are the ones who ALREADY have a ton of money and don’t need the money they’re gambling with and as a result, can be a bit more objective and take more chances liberally.

But even if they win, it plants that seed into their mind that they can get something for nothing and that can start them down a very dark path. You don’t want that kind of thinking constantly going through your head.

But let’s say you don’t have a ton of money but by some long shot, you win anyways.

You still lose.

Why?

Because you’ve missed out on the opportunity to BECOME the kind of person who can find a way to serve people and earn that money instead. You miss out on developing the traits of patience, focus, vision, persistence, service, action, etc., and that in it of itself is worth more than any amount of money, to develop yourself to your highest potential.

Notice how the lotto winners, the majority of them lose it all because they have NOT become the kind of person who has developed to the point where they can handle the money. They blow it all away. They have no patience, self control, delayed gratification, etc.

Avoid gambling at all costs, even the little forms such as betting on a game with friends, poker night, scratch off tickets, because it’s so easy to make an exception and start slowly sliding down that hill, taking on more serious forms of gambling, getting a bookie, going to Vegas, etc.

And if you see ads here on gambling, before you accuse me of hypocrisy, know that it’s just Google Adsense’s algorithm doing its thing. It sees the word gambling a lot in here so it assumes I talk about gambling and displays ads about it.

Avoid the easy way out trap that gambling takes the form of.

No matter what, you will always lose in the long run, even if you win.

The post Why Gambling Is a Lose Lose Situation Even If You Win appeared first on Think Deep.

We experience rejection on a lesser level during job hunting, pitching ideas to others, proposing certain activities when in groups, etc.

But regardless of what the experience rejection rears itself, it hurts.

Make no doubt about it.

We invest a lot into whatever we are “pitching” and because we invest a lot on our own part – our ideas, time, effort, energy, we can’t help but NOT separate ourselves from what we are pitching.

Rejection cuts deep because it triggers something in you that comes from tribal human instinct. Rejection back in the day meant, on a severe scale, being shunned from the group, and if you weren’t part of the group, you couldn’t survive for too long.

Avoiding rejection is literally tied to our survival instinct.

What’s more, rejection brings us down in life into this nasty rut.

We fall into this hole that just gets deeper and deeper. We ruminate over why we were rejected, what it was about us that accounted for the rejection, why we are that way, etc.

By the time we finally muster up the gusto to crawl back out, when the opportunity to “pitch” presents itself again, we find ourselves more hesitant than ever because we don’t want to experience rejection and the hole we just climbed out of.

How do we solve this?

Fact: Everyone gets rejected.

It’s as normal as breathing in and out.

It’s not an isolated incident.

Moreover, you don’t really know EXACTLY what the reason might be for the rejection. It might possibly have NOTHING to do with you at all, yet we always think it does, which is just our ego getting in the way.

Perhaps the other person isn’t in the mood, is having one of the crappiest days ever, or just doesn’t want to deal with anything right now.

You don’t know.

So don’t automatically assume it is you.

But even if it is, don’t fret about it because again, everyone gets rejected.

The secret to not taking rejection personally lies in the focus.

Don’t focus on the rejection.

Focus on the doing.

Be consistent in “pitching”.

There WILL come a day, when you won’t get rejected.

Until that time comes, you will naturally learn how to reduce rejection and develop thick skin too pretty easily.

If you focus on the rejection, you go automatically to the “why me?” question and your brain of course, since it’s a computer, answers accordingly and spits out all these reasons why you were rejected.

That triggers the spiral and down the hole you go.

When the focus is just on consistency, on pitching, it doesn’t sting so much.

Now, there’s a little catch to this, a very subtle one and if you miss it, you won’t progress very far.

When you focus on the doing, don’t go all out the first time.

Think of like when you’re swimming. Most of us gradually enter the pool, body part by body part so we can adjust to the temperature.

First a toe, then a foot, then a leg, then the other leg, we squat a bit, splash water on our chest, rub it on our arms, and then slowly submerge fully under the water.

It doesn’t shock us that bad if we try that approach.

Now let’s assume metaphorically that a guy tried the cannon ball approach into the pool when he finally mustered up the courage to ask out a girl he kind of knew.

The girl said no.

Rejection city.

He’s probably not going to want to “cannon ball” ever again.

So this time he doesn’t go all out the first time.

He dips a toe into the pool.

Figuratively speaking, what does that mean?

He just says “Hi” to every woman he encounters in his daily life.

The women at the gym, women in the parking lot, workplace, supermarket, coffee place, bookstore, dry cleaners, etc.

Just “Hi”. Nothing else.

Then, the “how’s it going?”

Then the “I like that ______. Where did you get it?”

And on and on and on.

Soon, he’s comfortable with talking to women. It’s as natural to him as breathing. Plus, he knows a ton of women now. His pool for potential dates is pretty big.

So he finally musters up the courage to ask out a woman he fancies, a different woman this time.

No dice.

But that’s OK now.

See, it’s easy for him to regroup and ask out another woman because the whole idea of being comfortable around women is natural to him now. He also has a lot of women to choose from. He went through that process of getting comfortable around women and now talking to them is second nature whereas before, he skipped that process and “cannon balled” in.

I hope the difference here is clear.

It’s not about “cannon balling” consistently, at least not in the beginning.

In the beginning, you become consistent in the doing of the process, and that will inevitably lead you to become comfortable with “cannon balling” and that’s when you start doing it consistently and getting the results you seek.

I use the dating example because it represents one of highest levels of anxiety that rejection finds itself in.

If a guy/girl can conquer rejection in that arena, chances are, anything else will be a pretty easy to deal with.

Stop taking rejection so personally.

It happens to everyone.

Focus not on the rejection, but on the doing, on the process.

Consistently.

As you do it, you’ll learn a hell of a lot and all that experience and learning will give you the confidence to “cannon ball” and if you get rejected, no biggie, because now you have what it takes to easily “cannon ball” consistently.

The post How to Stop Taking Rejection So Personally appeared first on Think Deep.

But as we’ve all experienced, in the heat of the moment it’s very hard to summon it. The moment you have the thought of caving into the temptation, it’s pretty much over. It’s very hard to stop when you’ve activated the mental “caving in” sequence.

We say we’ll never do it again but we do.

So how do we solve this?

Simple.

Don’t even put yourself in a position to face the temptation in the first place.

Would you go out buck naked in the snow and test your willpower in terms of seeing how long you can stay out without getting sick?

Of course not.

But we see people all the time on the news, people we thought were straight edge, putting themselves in situations that bring them face to face with temptation.

We’re shocked to hear reputable politicians and celebrities cave into the temptation of adultery.

How could a person who has everything risk throwing it all away by caving into the temptations of drugs, adultery, and other harmful vices?

So when we look at ourselves and our own lives, how do we go about not making the same mistakes of caving into our own dangerous temptations?

For example, if the temptation is adultery, don’t even put yourself in a position where you’re alone with a person of the opposite sex who’s not your spouse.

You hear it all the time when two people are in a position just like that.

They always say “It just happened”.

Of course it just happened. They were both easily positioned to face that temptation.

The advice here might sound VERY archaic but it really makes perfect sense.

Some might say it’s a cop out, that avoiding those types of situations will not strengthen our willpower, that you have to face tempting situations to strengthen your willpower.

Here’s the thing though.

There’s no such thing as willpower in it of itself.

Willpower is always attached to a belief you have and the desire to live up to that belief. The stronger that is, the stronger your willpower will be. There’s no need to exercise willpower directly. It’s a byproduct of a belief you desire to hold strongly to.

That’s what should be exercised instead.

That’s what should be concentrated upon and impressed into your mind.

Once that’s fully ingrained, willpower will take care of itself and on top of that, it won’t really be necessary because you will naturally not put yourself in positions that pit you face to face with great temptation.

Don’t overestimate your level of willpower. It’s easy to do so in order to stroke the ego, but it’s like a person who overestimates his own strength when lifting weights.

He puts himself in a situation that tempts his blown up notion of how strong he is by loading up more weight on the bar than he can handle and gets crushed as a result.

Don’t overestimate your level of willpower. Don’t even put yourself in a position to cave into it in the first place. Focus on what you believe, on your desire to live up to that belief and that’ll prove to be the best move to make so you don’t cave into your temptations.

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Things like just let your goal go, be “open”, don’t work on your goal so much, etc.

At first glance, it raises the B.S. alarms. We think it only caters to the instant gratification crowd. The advice seems a bit woo-woo and contrary to the real world.

But the thing is – those things work.

What’s the catch?

You can’t apply the advice without doing the hard stuff first.

Because it’s by doing the hard stuff that allows you to easily do the easy stuff and see the results.

Authors tend to unknowingly perpetuate this frustration because they offer this advice and they say if you just do this, it’ll work.

And it will.

BUT, the readers can’t do it. They can’t apply it. Because they didn’t do the hard work first.

Here’s a classic example.

The idea of acting on your flashes of intuition.

When I first heard that principle of an idea flashing in your mind that will help you achieve your goal, I scoffed. This was way back when I was a mere child. I thought it was hocus pocus talk.

But I tried it to give it a shot and it never happened so I dismissed it.

Fast forward many years later, when I actually focus on a SPECIFIC goal, remind myself of it continuously, take action on it, think day and night about it, the flash of insight eventually came.

And it was brilliant.

A masterpiece.

And notice the big missing piece here.

I didn’t do any of that other stuff before. My goal was vague, I thought about it once in a while, never really took action and lo and behold, the brilliant idea never came.

It’s as if the self improvement industry is split into two camps. The “hard” and the “soft”.

The “hard” camp is all that we are familiar with, the “real world” stuff like taking action, discipline, persistence, etc.

The “soft” camp is all that is unknown, the stuff that’s hard to swallow – letting go, trusting in a higher power, having faith it will all work out when things seem their bleakest, etc.

It’s as if the two camps butt heads completely.

We don’t really trust the “soft” camp and when we try it out, it inevitably fails.

And we don’t consistently apply the advice we hear in the “hard” camp, so we never get to a level where we can truly apply the advice in the “soft” camp.

And therein lies the catch 22.

You want life to get easier by trying to apply the “soft” camp advice directly from the get go, but you can’t really successfully do it until you apply the “hard” camp advice.

But it’s rare for people to successfully apply the “hard” camp advice to get to the point where they can apply the “soft” camp advice.

The only way out of it is to start in the “hard” camp first. Really master it. Appreciate the fundamentals. Honor the timeless wisdom in it.

And when you reach a point where you have mastered it, you find yourself successfully applying what you learned in the “soft” camp with greater ease and with results this time.

And you no longer see the two camps as butting heads all the time but you see the great synergy between the two and how one leads to another.

Life doesn’t get easier “directly”.

You can’t start from the beginning and hope to take advantage of all the “soft” camp advice directly.

You must apply the “hard” camp advice to be able to easily apply the “soft” camp advice and see the results.

And as I’m reading over this to proofread and correct spelling mistakes, I know that this might sound confusing to some people.

And for others, it will make perfect sense.

I don’t think this is one of those things you can really articulate.

Only experience.

And for those who have mastered the “hard” camp and have seen the fruits of applying the advice in the “soft” camp, and have stumbled upon the same realizations as this article, they will understand completely what I’m talking about.

If this is flying over your head, it might be because you still haven’t mastered the “hard” camp yet. Keep at it. And you’ll find the “soft” camp advice you read will begin to make more and more sense. You will look at it differently now and when you apply it, you will see the results.

Remember, life doesn’t get easier directly.

It’s always hard before it gets easy.

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