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Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts

By: Brian Kim - October 2, 2007

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First off, there are those who are reading this who might not know which camp they fall into, the extrovert or the introvert. Chances are, the majority of those reading this will know, but for those who don’t, let’s define those two terms here very broadly.

Extroverts tend to be those who are more energized when around other people. They are the ones who will reach for the cell phone when alone for more than a minute, the ones who love to go out every weekend, the ones who love to chit chat, mingle, and socialize.

Introverts tend to be those who are more energized when alone with themselves. They are the ones who have to be dragged to parties, who are the first ones ready to leave after a short period of time, and who generally enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.

The qualities and characteristics of introverts are often held in a negative light in today’s world, so it’s only natural that the majority of people seem to think that there’s something wrong with them. The reason why the majority of people think that there’s something wrong with introverts is because the majority of people aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.

Many people tend to hold several potentially damaging misconceptions about introverts, but through no fault of their own.

I’ve been on both sides of the extrovert/introvert fence, and I can understand why extroverts tend to view introverts in a negative light, socially speaking, so I thought it would be best to write an article dedicated to helping extroverts understand their often very misunderstood introvert counterparts.

My hope is this article will help solve that problem by shedding some light as to why introverts are the way they are and do the things they do, so here are 5 things every extrovert should know about introverts.

1. If a person is introverted, it does NOT mean they are shy or anti-social.

This is probably THE biggest misconception that extroverts tend to have when it comes to introverts.

And you can’t really blame them for having that kind of misconception.

Extroverts tend to have to drag introverts to parties, to convince them to go and sell them on attending social engagements. When introverts politely decline, extroverts automatically assume that something might be wrong so they always ask if everything’s all right and of course, everything is all right. It’s just a common misunderstanding. When extroverts see a pattern like this developing, they automatically assume that introverts are shy or anti-social as that can be the only logical explanation to them. What’s more, when extroverts try to engage introverts in small talk, it seems like they hit a brick wall.

Add to that, most extroverts see that introverts tend to be fond of engaging in solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.

Well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck right?

Wrong.

Introverts have more brain activity in their frontal lobes and when these areas are activated through solitary activity, introverts become energized through processes such as problem solving, introspection, and complex thinking.

Extroverts on the other hand tend to have more activity in the back of their brain, areas that deal with processing sensory information from the external world, so they tend to search for external stimuli in the form of interacting with other people and the outside world to energize them.

There’s a deeper science to this that involves differences in the levels of brain chemicals such as acetylcholine and dopamine in extroverts and introverts, but I won’t get into that.

The bottom line is that introverts are just wired differently than extroverts. There’s nothing “wrong” with them. They just become energized through different processes depending on where the majority of their brain activity takes place.

Granted there are introverts who may be shy and anti-social, but that’s just a coincidence that perpetuates the myth that ALL introverts are like that.

You’ll find that all introverts are fine just the way they are until people begin to subtly suggest otherwise.

2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk.

If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small talk. Introverts tend to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.

This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant.

Why?

Because extroverts notice that introverts don’t talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they’re too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and that’s hardly the case.

It’s just a matter of preference.

Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it.

There’s nothing wrong with either choice, it’s just a matter of preference.

This brings us to the third point.

3. Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.

Yes, it’s true. Contrary to the majority of public opinion, introverts do like to socialize, but again, only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.

Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get energized by discussing subjects that are important to them and they love see what and how other people think, to connect the dots, to dig deep, to find root causes, to use logical thinking via debate in conversation, etc.

And what’s more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total strangers - but only for a short period of time. After that, they need time for themselves which brings us to the fourth point.

4. Introverts need time alone to recharge.

Extroverts tend to think introverts have something against them as they constantly seem to refuse generous invites to social engagements. Introverts do appreciate the offers, but it’s just that they know it will take a lot of energy out of them if they pursue these social functions.

They need time alone like they need food and water. Give them their space. There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re not depressed and they’re not sad. They just need time alone to recharge their batteries.

5. Introverts are socially well adjusted.

Most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don’t choose to socialize as much as extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially well adjusted, as they have not seen much evidence of them interacting with other people.

This just exacerbates previous misconceptions and gives way to labeling introverts as nerds, geeks, loners, etc.

It’s easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society so having to interact frequently with people came to be a regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival.

But because of this high value placed on extroversion, introverts tend to feel trapped and find themselves in a catch 22 situation.

Do introverts stay true to who they are and risk social alienation and isolation or do introverts conform and join the extroverted side, pretending to be somebody they’re not just to fit in?

This is precisely why I wrote this article, because if the extroverts can become more educated about introverts, introverts will be able to feel free to stay true to who they are, and that’s a good thing from society’s point of view.

Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person is detrimental because it gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something wrong with them, hampering their self worth and esteem when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the first place.

There’s nothing wrong with introverts.

In fact, introverts are the leading pioneers of advancements in human civilization. Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Charles Darwin are a few introverts that come to mind, just to name a few.

And for those of you not interested in science, but pop culture, you’ll be surprised to see a lot of well known names in Hollywood are introverts as well. Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Christian Bale to name a few as well.

And for those interested in sports, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods come to mind as athletes who are introverts as well.

Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability to discover new thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to connect the dots, to observe and note things that most people miss, to listen extremely well and are often found having a rich and vivid imagination too.

The more extroverts become knowledgeable about introverts, the less tension and misunderstanding there will be among the two.

So if you’re an introvert reading this, send a copy of this article to all your extrovert friends so they can get a better idea of what you’re all about.

It’s time to finally clear the air.

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192 Responses to “Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts”

  1. Dan Says:

    Dead accurate.

  2. che guevara Says:

    ok, that was a little harsh. it was a pretty good article, actually. i am the epitome of an introvert.

  3. Kid Handsome Says:

    Disagree!!

    Introverts ARE shy, if Shy == “Drawing back from contact or familiarity with others; retiring or reserved”, which is what the tubes tell me. So introverts are the very definition of shy. It’s not a misconception, its a reality. That shyness is something you feel you must defend against as being “wrong” is another matter entirely.

    If you really want to engage an extrovert in conversation, skip the small talk. If you really want to engage any intelligent person in conversation, skip the small talk. Personal desire to embody an admirable trait aside, this generalization of an introvert does not hold.

    Everyone needs to recharge, not just introverts.

    Your “article” is a livejournal post. An excellently articulated opinion piece.

    I’m not even sure where I am on the internet right now, so excuse my ass-baggery if this type content is par around here. This is actually my first ever post of this type!

  4. n0p3 Says:

    Sadly, many extraverts claim to be introverted.

  5. tony Says:

    thanks for that
    well written

  6. introvert Says:

    thanks for that.

  7. dave Says:

    n0p3 i cant agree more.

    also, i think most extroverts won’t be ones to read and dig through blogs…or reddit…

    maybe i’m wrong, but i think most extroverts won’t ever see this list, paradoxically

  8. introvert #2 Says:

    wow, I didn’t even realize half of this until I read it, but it’s spot on.

  9. TruePravda » [Link] Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts » Self Improvement Blog - BrianKim.net Says:

    […] 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts Posted by Jared Bridges | Permalink | ShareThis […]

  10. Whippleworld » Blog Archive » Believe it or not Says:

    […] I AM an intorvert. Here’s a great article about what that means: Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts Related PostsNo related posts […]

  11. JK Says:

    You think any extroverts were focused enough to read this entire article?

  12. Innovation Catalyst Says:

    Excellent article, one that I have been meaning to write in some form or another for a while on my blog. I’d build on this by suggesting that in the classical Myers-Briggs personality theory that introvert-extrovert is only a piece of the whole story. Introverts can be very different from one another - some think abstract, others concrete. Some make decisions based on logic, others on how their decisions effect others. Some are decisive and get things done quickly, others are more open to possibilities and influenced by deadlines.

  13. subcorpus Says:

    so if ontroverts need time alone to recharge …
    how do extroverts recharge …
    and sure extroverts need more frequent charging as they would need more energy being extroverts and stuff …
    right ?

  14. introextro Says:

    how do you call an introvert who is partially extroverted? An introvert who sometimes keep themselves alone but also sometimes call his/herself a party-goer.

  15. Lanterrn Bearer Says:

    This is a very good piece. I have recently picked up again on work that has come from the Myers-Briggs work in this area. I have used a great deal of my early exposure to it in my career and in my family life. I have been described as both a fearless social predator and also a wall flower. I find that the power of awareness of ones type, strengths and weaknesses is like new birth when first experienced. I have seen the effects in myself and others.

    Lantern Bearer

  16. 5 cosas que todo extrovertido debe saber de los introvertidos « tj blogger Says:

    […] 2nd, 2007 · No Comments Traduzco los puntos destacados del articulo original: La razĂłn por la que la mayorĂ­a de laspersonas creen que hay algo malo con los introvertidos es por que la mayorĂ­a de la gente no tiene suficientes conocimientos cuando se trata de introvertidos, en el sentido del por quĂ© de de su forma de ser y el por quĂ© de las cosas que hacen. […]

  17. Peter Says:

    I think I need to point this… A lot of people are mistyped and in MBTI some introverts come out as extroverts… this has created a unbalance in the introverted/extroverted scale and turned the introverted into something like an outcast (perception wise).

    From a functional point of view, every person has 2 strong functions, one introverted and one extroverted. Depending on which one they predominately use they are introverted or extroverted.

    Some of the “dynamic” introverts (like the Ixxp) will look extroverted (when I tell people I’m introverted a lot of them say “You? NO WAY!” but I am. Also… some of the “static” extroverts (like the Exxp) will tend to come of looking more introverted.

    For people really interested in psychological types I recommend taking a look at the MBTI alternative… Socionics

    http://socionics.us/

  18. liderr Says:

    A very accurate article. I’m an introvert and like it that way. Also, I’ve always been a night person and while this can complicate life at times, my thought processes and creativity excel because of this.

  19. ouessant Says:

    Typically an american view: black vs white. Introverts vs extroverts. Good vs Evil. Etc.
    Introverts and extroverts are just the extreme ends of a scale of so many levels that it is absurd to classify them into 2 groups. We are all introverts AND extroverts, but in different ways. Plus, you can be more introvert on a specific day for a specific activity and more extrovert at a different time for a different activity.
    Thinking black vs white is simple. Human beings are not.

  20. K Says:

    Extroverts are probably seen as the ‘normal’ people in our society. Your article also takes this view; but of course it’s written for extroverts to read so that’s why, probably. You know, as an introvert it’s easy to feel unappreciated. ‘Dumb’ extroverts also have a good skill to bring this across. Whatever… your article is superb. Thanks.

  21. Simon Says:

    Spot on

  22. ob81 Says:

    Great read. I suffer from people thinking that I am an arrogant guy. I also tend to be very interacting and funny at work and other places, though only sometimes. This turns into a burden as well, as I am pretty humorous and people are always expecting something.

    Spot on write up

  23. Brent Says:

    Very good piece. I’m a classic introvert myself. This quote — “…introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total strangers - but only for a short period of time” — is especially accurate, and is the source of much of the misunderstanding about us introverts, I think. People meet us, think we’re very sociable and outgoing; then simply can’t understand why we don’t want to go their party the next day, or whatever.

    In my profession, I’m invited to speak at a lot of conferences and seminars. I’m told I’m pretty good at it, and I enjoy it. But I usually skip the ‘cocktail hours’ later in the day, because I have no interest or ability in the small talk that invariably ensues.

  24. Brent Says:

    oops — my submission should have said “why we don’t want to go TO their party…”

  25. Romnico Says:

    A lot of Thanks! A very good article.. Will pass this one.

  26. amy Says:

    It’s the unfair and generalised assumptions about introverts that create the perception that introverts are by definition socially handicapped. The Introversion-Extroversion continuum relates to the individual’s need to emotionally recouperate and re-energise themselves in order to function. Some people feel more energised and relaxed in a social environment, and some feel more energised and relaxed by having time to themselves.

    Social skills are learned behaviours. Introversion does not preclude someone from developing these skills, or enjoying time spent around other people. Resorting to inaccurate stereotypes, such as the image of “dragging” introverts to parties, does little to clarify these labels.

  27. jeremy Says:

    Score one for the introverts. It’s good to hear there’s nothing wrong with me.

  28. Ric Says:

    #3 “period of time” ALL “periods” are of “time.” Just “period” would do…

    But a good article. Thanks.

  29. Stelmate Says:

    Extroverts don’t know about psychology, introverts do!

  30. Pensador Says:

    Dear Mr. Kim,

    You speak the truth. I knew I was an introvert but I thought I was from another planet. Thanks for posting this well-written article.

    Cheers

  31. Rean John Says:

    Introvert. One point added

  32. Joy Says:

    When I was in College, most of my friends call me introvert. It’s because I don’t join them when they go to parties or night outs. After our class, I would go back home right away instead of hanging around with my friends. Even my teachers would always scold me because I don’t listen in their classes instead I read books at the corner of our classroom.

    Luckily, my family is very supportive of me. They don’t force me to join any family gatherings if I don’t want to. They knew that I’m not comfortable being surrounded by other people that I just met for the first time.

  33. Funny Guy Says:

    You’re quite right.
    Now I know I’m an introvert.

  34. Dave Brook Says:

    HOLY SHIT! A GREAT article and SPOT ON!!!! (from an Introvert of course)

  35. .: GuySmiley.ca :. » Archive » Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts Says:

    […] The reason why the majority of people think that there’s something wrong with introverts is because the majority of people aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.read more | digg story […]

  36. Chat Marchet News Digest » Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts Says:

    […] You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your ownsite. […]

  37. Me - The Introvert « Vainglorious Says:

    […] Me - The Introvert 3 10 2007 My introvertedness has recently been a popular topic of discussion with a friend of mine so I was estatic when I came across an article titled “The Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts”. You can click there to read the article but I just feel like outlining the parts the I feel really apply to me. […]

  38. Brian Says:

    I was reading this article thinking that I was Extrovert but as I read it I’m beginning to wonder if I’m an introvert. The line that really made me question it was this: “And what’s more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total strangers - but only for a short period of time. After that, they need time for themselves which brings us to the fourth point.” My girlfriend can’t understand how one night I can be the life of a party, and the next day not say a word. She always assumes that it’s her, but I’ve never really been able to explain why I need some time by myself. I really need that time by myself just thinking or “daydreaming.” Great article.

  39. Luis Perez Says:

    I ;]

  40. 5 things Extrovert should know about Introverts « æ€ă„ăŻă€èš€è‘‰ă«ă—ăȘă‘ă‚Œă°äŒă‚ă‚‰ăȘい Says:

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  41. Extrovert Alert Says:

    An Extrovert myself…I’m married to an Introvert, first 9 years of marriage sucked for me… however, I have a really great admiration for the introvert… it’s nice to have back-up to understand what the Introvert is thinking, how they think, and why they think it. very good article.
    Oh.. and to answer the question from subcorpus:How do Extroverts recharge?? A good nights sleep. That’s all it takes!

  42. Dan Says:

    Honestly it’s a little silly to think people exist only on polar opposites. I tend to think I’m extroverted, but not as much as some people. I also go through moments where I become very introverted. Drawing a line between the two and deciding that people have to be one or the other makes it harder for everyone.

  43. eddydrama.com » Blog Archive » Good Read Says:

    […] Click Me. […]

  44. anonymous Says:

    sad thing is, 99% of the readers of this article will be introverts.

  45. Yes. « gh1f Says:

    […] Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts » Self Improvement Blog - BrianKim.net […]

  46. Zac Says:

    You know… this would have been a great article had you changed the tone a little. It almost seems like you are fed up with the world comming down on “introvert” personalities.

    To be honest, i think introverted and extroverts as 2 definitive characteristics of human behavior is ignorant and very bland way of describing and grouping individual’s based on their behavior patterns. You make it seem as if the world of extroverts is looking at the world of introverts as if they are lessar.

    Well guess what, some book has told you that there are extro and intro’s… not real life. If you actually examine people to get down to their root personalities, you’d see that things are MUCH more complex on the social scale and in human behavior, than two simple groups defined as “intro and extro”.

    Myself for example, in a social setting i will be the most extrovertive person towards my friends, but only when i need to be. Otherwise, I’m the guy that shows up last and leaves first. It really all depends on the situation and what’s going on. I don’t prefer one over the other as i have just as much fun by myself as i do going and partying with friends. If i were to disrupt the balance with one over the other, i’de either get sick of the people or i’de get sick of sitting by myself.

    SO what does this make me? Extrointroverted? Relating back to my point at the start is that your tone in this article makes it seem like you’re an introvert crying out in a world of extroverts who don’t understand you. The reality is, there is nothing wrong with being either (which you’ve stated and i respect), but equality does become an issue when you try to equal the playing field by declaring lack of knowledge onto others. You keep saying “THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE”. Well, did you go and interview the “MAJORITY OF PEOPLE” or did you just base this one a couple jerks that you work with or have to deal with in your life?

    I just don’t think you’ve really thought out what the message you were trying to send was. I agree with your message, that any extroverts thinking less of someone else because they don’t think the same way is appalling and should cease to exist. But, i can’t agree with your principals and how you came to these conclusions. I assure you, the world “majority” doesn’t see introverts as social rejects or the like, they are either just a shy person (which is very common), or they are one of those introverts that just does NOT need social stimulation to stay content (nothing wrong with that!). Please don’t assume the world is morally crumbling based on a few jerk friends you’ve had over your life.

  47. I’m proud of being an introvert. « info-ninja Says:

    […] October 3rd, 2007 Brian Kim writes: Introverts tend to be those who are more energized when alone with themselves. They are the ones who have to be dragged to parties, who are the first ones ready to leave after a short period of time, and who generally enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming. […]

  48. Alvin Cheung Says:

    Good article. I consider myself fairly extroverted myself and it was nice to be able to understand what exactly goes on here. But, it makes it sound like extroverts are not interested in deep conversation. We are, but the small talk is there to get to a topic of deep conversation. It’s not all small talk if you can find something that both parties can expand on. That’s when it goes deeper. What I like to do is throw out a bunch of topics until this happens, and I truly enjoy poking around and finding out what about/how other people think. Great article though. Cheers!

  49. INTRAVERTS Says:

    Crazy article! Spottt on.

  50. RC Says:

    I agree that a lot of people misunderstand the behavior of introverts. However, I also feel like extroverts can be misunderstood. Just looking at some of these posts, we have: “You think any extroverts were focused enough to read this entire article?” and “Extroverts don’t know about psychology, introverts do!” I take issue with this. I’d say I’m extroverted, but more towards the midline than the extreme. I go out most nights of the week and am constantly busy. I usually take one day of the week to watch television and do something creative to recharge, plus getting a good 7-8 hours of sleep a night. But just because I’m extroverted now (I was introverted as a teenager) doesn’t mean that I’m unfocused. Some extroverts may have ADHD, but the majority do not. Our focus may just be in a different place than yours. And I would argue that extroverts do know about psychology. Just because we’re often classified as social butterflies or whatever doesn’t mean we have no time for self reflection - also we spend time figuring out the psychology of other people as well as ourselves (not saying introverts don’t do that also).

    There are some shy introverts, there are some introverts who are just happy being alone. There are some manic extroverts and there are some extroverts who are just happy being around other people. Like other posters have said, this is not a black and white issue, it’s all shades of gray.

  51. Manny Says:

    Great post. I’ve commented on Marti Laney’s book “The Introvert Advantage” on my blog, and, as an introvert, I found that understanding more about introverts greatly increased my coping skills.

    Manny
    http://successbooks.blogspot.com

  52. Drexl Says:

    Great article!

  53. infurious » Blog Archive » Introverts and Extroverts Says:

    […] There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. Really. […]

  54. Jack Says:

    Great article. I thoroughly enjoyed the read and have to say I agree with just about everything.

    I do have a reply for Kid Handsome, the third commenter.
    -I don’t think introverts are necessarily shy at all, it’s just a matter of preference to be alone. Shy to me means flustering or tripping over words when speaking publicly, or becoming uncomfortably awkward in social situations, or avoiding contact with other people out of some fear. That is my interpretation of shy. I don’t believe I’m shy if I am happier when I’m alone with my thoughts and would prefer this the majority of the time.
    -Good point. The “skipping the small talk” idea makes it sound like only dolts engage in small talk. I don’t think the author necessarily meant it as a shot at extroverts, but rather a look at how an introverts brain differs and how there may be a wide gap in conversational perception.

  55. cr Says:

    My bf is an introvert and im quite an extrovert,ive known this since i first got with him.We’ve been together over 2 yrs now and its quite annoying at times as i hav to literally drag him anywhere,the funny thing is thou as much as he moans n complains about not wantin to go,wen we leave he tells me wot a good time he had!!lol.even most of our time together is spent in his room as trying to get him outside is a feat,lol.this article definetly gave us some laughs,its so true!!

  56. Dave Says:

    This sounds about right. I have always considered myself an introvert, I just enjoy being alone every so often. This is a great article, I’ll be sure to pass this on to people I know.

  57. Along the Spectrum » Mainstream Neurodiversity Says:

    […] While doing some casual surfing this evening, I found link to an article titled Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts. It’s on a blog about self improvement written by Brian Kim. […]

  58. chriswho » Blog Archive » Things extroverts need to know about introverts Says:

    […] I stumbled upon this article by Brian Kim titled “Top 5 things every extrovert should know about introverts“.  I have no idea about Brian Kim’s credentials, but this article hit the nail on the head from my (admittedly introverted) perspective.  Worth taking a few minutes to read if you want to understand the workings of our sometimes quirky social behavior. […]

  59. Jonathon Zone » Blog Archive » Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts Says:

    […] The reason why the majority of people think that there’s something wrong with introverts is because the majority of people aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.read more | digg story […]

  60. Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts « Mike Hurren’s Blog Says:

    […] Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts […]

  61. Danielle Says:

    I have been dating an introvert for two years now. An extrovert myself, I am constantly trying to drag him places that are fun to me; parties, clubs; etc, while he’d prefer to be anywhere but. I get upset when he wont want to talk to me at the end of our days, which I guess falls under the topic of small talk. When he does talk to me at night, he’s unresponsive because hes either playing a video game or reading something online, which makes me feel like he doesnt care about how my day was or any of my small talk. While this article has shown me that this isnt true, I still struggle with it. I want to bring him out places that I frequent, but hes just not comfortable there. I still cant seem to get past these two things though. Are we doomed?

  62. Noah’s MVP Volunteer 2007/2008 blog » About introverts from an extravert perspective. Says:

    […] Good article about introverts. In training we talked about this briefly. And I lived with an extrovert so I think this article pretty much nails it. There are alot of misconceptions about Introverts and usually they are generalized and not much thought is encouraged into the phenomenon. That is until now. Hopefully more research will be done like this article where critical thinking is encoouraged. This piece of work struck me as important because it talks about the “duck”, which was mentioned in our training. So I thought it was a good read. addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sanslunew.com%2Fblog%2F%3Fp%3D15′; addthis_title = ‘About+introverts+from+an+extravert+perspective.’; addthis_pub = ‘’; […]

  63. the voodoo lounge » Blog Archive » 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts Says:

    […] I characterize myself as an introvert who does his best to occasionally emulate an extrovert. That’s why nearly everything said in this post rings familiar to me. […]

  64. äș”項怖搑的äșșæ‡‰çŸ„é“ć…§ć‘çš„äșș的äș‹ « Fuyan’s Stuff Says:

    […] äș”項怖搑的äșșæ‡‰çŸ„é“ć…§ć‘çš„äșș的äș‹ Filed under: 1 — fuyanyu @ 6:53 am Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts […]

  65. Bela Says:

    Damn good stuff! May I translate it to Hungarian?

  66. xeophin.tapestry » Blog Archive » links for 2007-10-04 Says:

    […] Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts Now, that sums it up nicely, doesn’t it? (tags: personality lang:en psychology introvert) […]

  67. middleground Says:

    Hi,

    Ofcourse, as quite a few people have allready replied, the truth is never as black&white as this article suggests.

    But I don’t think the article should be read as “the truth”, but simply as an exaggerated version of the truth.
    Nothing wrong with that: exaggeration can be a very helpful tool!
    It can lift a situation out of the net of nuances that obscures it from beeing examined in the first place. Glimpses of truth can often only be seen in the extremes.
    So exaggeration is actually a great way to examine underlying tendencies that can’t be seen when only looking at the ‘middle ground’.

    The middle ground is, however, where most of the real world is.

    I liked the ideas in the article and I’ll incorporate them into my daily analysis of things. Weighing and testing them as I go along. (In my typical introverted way.) :)
    Thanks for the input!

  68. Katie Says:

    Thanks for enlightening me. I am a pretty intense extrovert, but I read this article because my introvert boyfriend sent it to me. You’re dead on about the misconceptions everyone has, and it took me two years of dating him to finally realize the way for us to argue less was to let him have time alone, and understand why he may not want to go to parties with me. But intorverts must realize it’s hard not to take it personally: it can come accross as if an extrovert enjoys spending time with an introvert more than that introvert does. Very important to be on the same page, and realize affections need not be expressed simply by the amount of time spent with a person, but rather the quality of the time…and introverts are great at providing quality time, if not quantity. Any thoughts on the possibilities of an introvert/extrovert relationship working well? (perhaps opposties attract and complement each other?)

  69. jakobofski Says:

    true,true, very true.

  70. Introverts vs. Extroverts| The Digital Chronicles of Dennis Larsen| Orange Days ♄ Says:

    […] Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts The reason why the majority of people think that there’s something wrong with introverts is because the majority of people aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do. […]

  71. Moewes.com » links for 2007-10-04 Says:

    […] Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts As an extrovert married to an introvert, these are important things to learn. (tags: personality social relationships) […]

  72. Myself Says:

    Myself an introvert, i have to say right on… I get a lot of crud from my peers because I’ll be reading or very concentrated on what I’m doing and they’ll think I’m angry with them or something… can get very frustrating at times so I’m glad i have something to hopefully help them understand :-D

  73. Brian Kim Says: