How to Stop Letting What Other People Think About You Dictate Your Life
By: Brian Kim - January 3, 2010
We all sense the pull. The pull to be like everyone else. To adopt the herd mentality.
But when you try to separate, you stick out like a nail and the nail gets hammered back in via social pressure
People try to live the life they want, but inevitably the fear of what others think about them will kill their dreams.
So how do you stop this?
How do you GENUINELY stop letting what others think about you dictate your life?
And not put up the false front where you say you don’t really care what others think of you, but deep down inside still in some way shape or form, let what others think of you influence you?
The first thing to realize is what people think of you IS MORE OF A REFLECTION ON THEIR PART THAN ON YOU.
It’s a reflection of how THEY view life.
The path you choose in life is NEUTRAL.
It is PERCEIVED through different lens by yourself and other people.
Therefore, there is nothing you can do on your part to control what others think about you. You can’t change the “lens” of the people around you. They have formed their own lens over years of conditioning.
If you can’t change their lens, why bother trying to control it?
Let it go.
Again, what others think about you reflects more on THEM than you.
There are a variety of viewpoints on life.
Let’s say you choose Path A of life. Other people who have lens A will support you, encourage you. Other people who have lens that are type B or C or D or E or F or G or H or I or J or K or L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z,B1,B2,B3,B4,B5,B6, will have a spectrum of viewpoints on your life based on the lens they have on their eyes.
Some may view your negatively, some may have no opinion, some may understand and accept, some won’t even care at all.
Yet, we don’t realize this. We want a “blanket” lens that covers everyone around us. We want the idea that if I do XYZ, I’ll be loved and looked favorably by all around me.
The truth is, no matter how hard we try to look favorably in the eyes of everyone you know, you can’t. It’s impossible.
You can’t be all things to all people.
So one might realize this and think:
“If I can’t be favorable in the eyes of all, I will see what viewpoint of life the majority of people have. Then I will adopt that viewpoint and live it so as to be looked upon favorably by the majority of people.”
So they pursue the popular life path and it might work.
That is, at least in the beginning.
As time passes by, they will feel the knot growing in their stomach. They realize they are handcuffed and the longer they spend their lives living the life of the herd, they find themselves sinking deeper in it until it is damn near impossible to leave it, because they don’t want to look bad in front of the eyes of their entire social network they built over the years that revolved around their life.
Their very desire to look good in front of everybody is the very handcuff that will cinch their hands together tighter and tighter until they are helpless to do anything about it.
And as time goes by, it will be harder and harder to keep up the charade, to put on the mask and the cracks will start to show and will soon reveal their true motives – that they did not choose this life on their own free will, but simply chose it because it was the popular one.
Realize this:
No matter what viewpoint in life a person has, people RESPECT those who after some SERIOUS thought, made a decision of their own volition as to how they want to live their life, can clearly back up WHY they want that life, AND LIVE IT.
FULLY.
And not half ass it.
But nobody can respect the person who doesn’t take a stand, who has no foundation, who cannot think for themselves, and mindlessly joins the herd, robbing himself/herself of the full potential of their life.
Take a stand in life.
Back it up.
Stick to it.
Live it.
FULLY.
You can’t please everyone. What others think of you is their problem, not yours. It’s their viewpoint of life. How they view you will depend on their own “lens”. And there’s absolutely nothing you can do to change it.
Instead, find others who share similar viewpoints, similar “lens” as yourself and there, you will find the social acceptance you were craving before.
It’s those people who will help and support you to live your life to the fullest, and who will destroy the handcuffs on you that tie so many.
Please share and enjoy!: 
Email To A Friend Bookmark Site FREE VIP Newsletter
Read The Most Popular Articles Visit The MasterMind Forum
Similar Posts On BrianKim.net- How to Avoid Falling Into the Trap of Materialism
- The Dangers of Falling Into The Trap of Complacency
- The Triggering Event
- How to Stop Caring About What Other People Think About You
- How to Resist the Urge to Conform
- How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
- How to Stick to Your Guns
- How to Deal With the Naysayers
- Why the Answers You Seek are Always Closer than You Think
- How to Sell In Life
Sign Up For The FREE VIP Self Improvement Newsletter To Get FULL ACCESS To ALL 300+ DEFINITIVE Articles And To Also Get The VERY Best Value From This Site And Watch It Change Your Life!
Join Thousands of Subscribers From Over 123 Countries Around the World Whose Lives Have Definitely Changed for the Better And Who Are Actively Pursuing Their Hopes and Dreams!
What Subscribers Are Saying:
As a subscriber you'll get:
These M.I.Ts are purely meant to maybe provoke a thought, ask a question, make a suggestion and in the end, get you motivated and inspired to take action THAT DAY toward the direction of your dream because we all need a little boost of motivation and inspiration everyday, simply because the world is filled with such negativity and that fighting for your dreams is an uphill battle.
This VIP newsletter will contain more valuable information and resources like the articles found on this site.
And you don't have to worry about email blasting overload because I hate spam with the passion of a thousand suns put together. Your email address will not be shared with anyone else, GUARANTEED.
FREE Access to All 300+ DEFINITIVE Articles And Growing on BrianKim.net! packed with valuable information and resources on subjects such as goal setting, motivation, success, health, relationships, time management, and self improvement which won't be found anywhere else.
FREE eCourse - How to Maximize The Power of Your Mind - learn what you were never taught in school about how your mind works, how you can maximize its power, and how you can use it to achieve the goals you've set. The material in this eCourse can change your life.
FREE M.I.Ts - Motivational and Inspirational Thoughts sent Monday-Friday. These M.I.Ts will be personalized messages written by yours truly and will automatically be delivered to your inbox each weekday so you won't even have to think about it. It'll be right there when you wake up.
3 Responses to “How to Stop Letting What Other People Think About You Dictate Your Life”
Leave a Reply
|
|
January 4th, 2010 at
This is an absolutely stellar post. You have clearly and effectively laid out this situation of needing other people’s approval in an incredible way, in fact, I’ve never seen it better articulated.
Your point about focusing too much on what other people think as handcuffs is so right. I am someone who needs more positive reinforcement for my choices than others, and this exact situation is something I’ve been struggling with for several years. How do you be yourself and live your life without being rude to others and still having close relationships? How do you deal with those who are offended or feel personally attacked by your life choices? These are questions I am working on.
January 5th, 2010 at
You can’t be all things to all people, That’s right Brian, Sometimes we try to hard to please every one ,its best to be the best you, you can, Great post Brian
January 27th, 2010 at
Nacie,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the matter. I really appreciate it.
Your questions are great too! (maybe I should write articles on them
Lloyd,
Thank you very much!