How to Know When to Break The Rules
By: Brian Kim - October 15, 2009
First off, I’m not talking about breaking any laws here. I’m not talking about doing something illegal.
I’m talking about breaking those unwritten rules, the rules that people believe they should live by - the rules of “society”.
There’s a certain appeal to going against the grain. We have a number of clichés for it like think outside the box, be a maverick, take the road less traveled etc.
And should you get an inkling to break society’s rules of expectations, how do you know if you should do it? How do you know when to break the rules?
The answer is very simple.
You break the rules when your highest values are supported in doing so.
It’s the only thing that will make you successful in breaking the rules.
There’s absolutely no point in breaking the rules if by doing so, it doesn’t support your values.
It’s a waste of time and energy.
You’re just a rebel without a cause.
When you choose to do something aligned with your highest values - that gives you the energy to follow through on it despite all the people around you telling you not to because of the rules.
Arnold Schwarzenegger broke the rules his entire life. His parents wanted him to be a police officer. He wanted to become the greatest bodybuilder of all time instead.
After that, he wanted to act but all the agents told him it couldn’t be done. A man his size with his thick accent was not Hollywood material. They suggested he should pursue something else instead.
But because one of his highest values was to be different, he was unwilling to compromise himself in that aspect, to conform to the rules of Hollywood in what a good actor should look and sound like so as a result, everything around him had to compromise to fit HIM.
He starred in movies that suited his size and accent like Hercules and Conan the Barbarian but they didn’t turn out as great as he hoped they would.
But then Terminator came along and that fit him perfectly like a glove. He didn’t have that many lines to speak and his body suited the story line and the rest was box office history.
The same thing happened when he ran for governor.
The political rules were that you had to go through the system – become an assemblyman, councilman, mayor, etc. but he went for it all the first time.
If this seems like in direct violation of the start small -> grow -> big model, this is an exception to that model. He already had a foundation of fame, fortune and political connections built so he could run for governor without going by the rules. He didn’t necessarily break the rules – he just didn’t have to abide by them because his foundation was already built.
Moreover, he did break the rules in terms of what people expect when it comes to being a governor. Who would’ve ever thought a bodybuilder and famous actor with a weird accent would be governor of the great state of California? He certainly didn’t fit the polished, well spoken, politically correct image that most people think of when it comes to politicians. His highest value of giving back to this country that gave him so much motivated him to break these kinds of rules.
We see this all the time with people who decided their highest value was freedom and quit their high paying job to start heir own business. They went against the rules of society which dictated they should hang on to that steady paycheck for dear life in exchange for limited freedom, but they decided to break that rule in order to support their own highest personal values.
Since they’ve believed so strongly in the cause they fight for, so strongly that they refuse to quit, so strongly that they become immovable, fixed in their stance, life has no choice but to work around those people, to fit everything around that person and his/her stance.
As a result, things work out.
When you don’t have those deep roots, when you don’t believe that strongly in something, you tend to play by the rules by default, and then get tossed and turned by the winds of life. It’s easy to get uprooted and blown across way over there and way over here and feel like you’re not in control of your life.
If you ever come to the point where everything inside of you is telling you to break the rules and go for it, chances are you should go for it.
Believe in the values you are fighting for.
Draw the line in the sand.
Break the rules.
Put those roots in deep.
Refuse to quit.
Life will test you by not delivering what you seek in record time. It will drag it out to see if you really mean it and should you stick through it during that time period, you’ll have passed the test.
And joined the ranks of those who have broken the rules, succeeded in doing so, and achieved their very best.
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3 Responses to “How to Know When to Break The Rules”
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October 22nd, 2009 at
Brian,
“There’s absolutely no point in breaking the rules if by doing so, it doesn’t support your values.
It’s a waste of time and energy.
You’re just a rebel without a cause.”
My favorite lines right there. I think I knew it unconsciously, but you put it in writing. Thanks. I’m stumbling this.
November 20th, 2009 at
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stumbling it. I really appreciate it!
December 21st, 2009 at
Very insightful rule of thumb in that article!
I have thought on the subject a lot and this sounds very true to me!