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Avoid the Trap of “Fitting In”

By: Brian Kim - October 22, 2009

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I’m not necessarily talking about fitting in socially here (though in a broader sense I am).

What I’m talking about by not fitting in is looking EXTERNALLY FIRST to find something for you to fit into when you’re pursuing something.

The classic example is looking outside to see what kind of business to start that you can fit into.

For example, you’ve probably heard that network marketing is a great way to start your own business. Whenever I hear that, I cringe inside.

First off, if you’re not at the top, it’s very unlikely you’ll make a lot of money in network marketing. You need to have a big down line because that’s where the majority of your money will be coming from. If you’re at the bottom of the down line, you’re not going to be making it.

But here’s the thing.

If you don’t really like doing small talk all the time, meeting with people, constantly socializing with a variety of people, you’re going to tank. It’s not a good fit for you.

This seems like common sense, but it’s not.

We are blinded by popularity.

We think just because a particular choice is popular, that it would be a great fit for us, but chances are it’s not.

It’s like trying to find a great shirt and then you pick one up that’s 1 foot long and 4 inches wide.

It’s not going to fit.

Work the other way around.

Don’t look outward first.

LOOK WITHIN FIRST.

See what matches with the inside.

If nothing does, then MAKE something that FITS.

The custom fit shirt always looks and feels the best doesn’t it?

The easy choice is to look outside to fit in but it rarely works because we are all different. Moreover, by choosing that route, you’re in bloody waters of competition because everyone else is there and the person who wins that competition is the one that by coincidence, is a great fit for it in the first place because it matches up with who they are and what they want.

When you look within, the competition is reduced. You create a great fit just for you.

It’s one of the strong foundations of entrepreneurship. Most entrepreneurs get frustrated because nothing outside “fits”, so they make something that “fits” and succeed.

For example, the thing for bloggers to do is to get published, go on speaking tours, promotional tours, etc.

I choose not to do that because it’s not a good fit for me.

I like writing, not speaking.

I enjoy freedom.

I have people always press me to go down that route, but I remain steadfast in my decision and I’m truly happy with it. I’ve customized my strategy according to me and it fits perfectly.

I don’t want the grueling traveling schedule, staying in hotels, going on tours, speaking engagements, etc.

My best strength is in writing and the only way I can do that is to have freedom, peace of mind, and tranquility in my life. If I’m running around the country, I won’t have any of that and I know I won’t be happy and my writing will suffer as a result.

Doing all that isn’t a good fit for me at all.

Plus, by retaining control over all my products/services, I get pretty much all the profit, rather than get a small percentage for each sale if I go down the publishing route.

And moreover, my products can sell consistently over time rather than just get a big boost and then have it fade within a matter of months like most published books do.

But by looking within to see what I want, I’ve created customized strategies that work for me, that fit me perfectly like a glove.

This is why it’s hard for people to copy exactly what others have done, to go down their route and have success with it because those people didn’t look externally first.

They looked within and built from there and because they did that, the road they built works best for THEM.

When others try to copy that, the majority inevitably fail simply because the route wasn’t built for them so it doesn’t match in the first place.

I hope this is making sense because it’s one of the easiest problems to stumble into.

Look within first.

Discern who you are and what you want.

Then look outwards to see what fits.

If you find something that reasonably fits, great! Go for it. Chances are you’ll have a much better shot than the rest of the competition in it because you looked within first and found what matched on the outside.

If you can’t find anything that fits, even better.

Custom make something that fits just right for you.

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2 Responses to “Avoid the Trap of “Fitting In””

  1. Walter Says:

    The truth is, all the great ones have followed what they want and never go for the status quo. Everthing you have stated are are true. We don’t need to follow the trend because we ourselves have the capacity to make this happen. It is our uniqueness that will elevate us from the rest. :-)

  2. Brian Kim Says:

    Absolutely Walter. Very well said ;)

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