Why Nobody Can Show you the EXACT Way
By: Brian Kim - June 25, 2009
It’s what most people want – to be shown the EXACT way to do “x”, with “x” being whatever they want to do such as losing weight, getting rich, finding the perfect job, etc.
It makes sense because it makes it easy.
Just do exactly what the other person has done and you will get what you want but ultimately, that kind of reasoning is flawed.
What works for some people will probably not work for you simply because we are all different.
By requesting the exact way someone else did “x” and trying to copy it, you dishonor yourself. You overlook your own talents, abilities, and more importantly, you lose power of responsibility and your power to create YOUR OWN WAY to do “x”.
That’s not to say you have to start from scratch and create a brand new way. You can always learn points from other people’s ways that you can incorporate but you ultimately want to make your own way as that’s the best way.
Take the example of losing weight.
There’s a million diets, a million different types of exercises to do, and a million different pieces of advice on how to go about doing it.
Nobody wants to sift through all that clutter so they want someone to show them the EXACT way.
They find somebody who did it and request the EXACT way on how that person did it so the person tells them the exact way on how THEY did it.
Let’s say their EXACT way was to count your calories and make sure you don’t consume more than you burn, run 2 miles everyday, and drink caffeine (I’m keeping the exact way very simple for illustrative purposes).
So the person thinks to himself – “If I copy that exact way I will be able to lose weight too.”
But he can’t.
He can’t copy it.
He hates running.
He hates counting calories.
He doesn’t like taking too much caffeine.
Is the method of doing all those things to lose weight wrong?
No.
They’ve worked for the person who used it.
But it’s not going to work for the person who’s trying to copy it exactly because it’s just not the right way for him.
He hates running, he hates counting calories, and he doesn’t like taking caffeine.
But what if instead of running, he does boxing?
Instead of counting calories, he prepares meals ahead of time so he doesn’t have to count the calories all the time?
Instead of taking caffeine, he takes a different supplement to boost his metabolism?
This way, he’s still following the guidelines that made the other person successfully lose weight, but more importantly, he’s able to stick to this way because he created his own way - one that he likes.
When you create your own way, that’s when you’re well on your way.
By doing so, you make it fun and interesting for yourself so you’re that much more compelled to go through with it in the long term.
Creating your own way gives you that sense of personal responsibility and infuses you with personal power.
Don’t give that up by taking the easy way out and copying the EXACT way of others.
If you do so, you’re playing it “safe” because if things go wrong, it’s easy to blame others.
Look at the ways that successful people have chosen to do “x”.
Then take the underlying principles from all those ways and choose your own specific methods to incorporate those principles into your own way - your own unique creative way of doing “x”.
By doing so, you empower yourself, you flex your creative muscles, and you create a plan for yourself that will be much more conducive to you following through on because it’s your own way, one that fits YOU like a tailored suit, so you don’t have to take on a suit that fits another perfectly, but is so small on you that you can’t breathe and so big on you that you trip over yourself.
Nobody can show you the EXACT way.
But you can CREATE the EXACT way - one that’s just right for you.
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