How to Stop Worrying All the Time
By: Brian Kim - February 19, 2008
Worry seems to be one of those human emotions that people feel trapped and frustrated by. When people worry too much, they become afraid that their very act of worrying can lead to the exact realization of their worries. In other words, they fear that worry can help lead to a self fulfilling prophecy which just causes more worry which makes them worry that much more which just puts them into a viscous worry cycle.
It seems like once worry sets in, it begins to snowball automatically by the very act of constantly thinking about what you’re worrying, which just gives it that much more power which then begins to influence how you perceive your reality of the environment in order to seek confirmation of what you’re worrying about which you will begin to find, which then feeds the worry that much more, which then continues the cycle.
The mind is a very powerful thing as it can influence your perception of reality which can then influence any future decisions and actions you choose to make which can help bring about your worries to reality as a result, so it’s no wonder why people get so stressed out about worrying in the first place.
So what to do? How to break yourself free from this cycle?
First off, it’s just to distract yourself from the situation when you start to worry. Obviously this is not a long term solution. It’s just meant to cut you off from the worry flow you’re currently engaging in - to stop the worry “snowball” if you will.
Exercise, pick up a book, play a sport. Do something constructive and positive with your time. Whenever worry comes up, distract yourself from it.
Once you stop the flow, realize that there’s only today left. The past and all its mistakes are finished. The future is yet to come. You only have today to work with and the future is not written in stone.
Realize that worry tends to embellish the very worst case scenarios of the future and this is where our active imagination can sometimes work against us. We tend to project the worst case scenarios of the future when we don’t even know what the future will hold. What you worry that might happen in the future may not (and probably will not) even happen because you don’t even know what the next day holds in store for you, let alone the next month or year.
It makes absolutely no sense to assume that what you worry about will come true when you don’t even know what’s going to happen for sure in the time between now and that future time period.
Realize that you have only today to work with and then make the most of it to alleviate your worry. Take in as much information as you need regarding the issue you’re worrying about. People tend to fear the unknown so the more you learn about what’s worrying you, the more light you can shed on the matter. The more information you have on what you’re worrying about, the more capable you become in terms of taking the necessary actions to alleviate it and the more action you take, the less of a foundation of whatever you’re worrying about has and the more “holes” you punch in it.
Seek out others who were once in your current situation. Ask for their help. It helps to have somebody to talk to who faced a similar situation as they can give you advice on what to do and it’s also a huge helping factor in the sense that you realize you were not alone and more often than not, that you were never alone in the first place.
When you begin to see progress after doing all this, you get reassured because you see things aren’t totally out of your control and that you can do something about it.
But some people may find themselves constantly worrying about the things they cannot change in their lives and there ARE things in life we can’t change. But worrying about the things we can’t change serves no purpose. It’s wasted energy. Better to accept the things you can’t change as that will free you to focus your energy on the things you can.
Another great way to combat worry is faith. Everybody has their own faith and whatever faith that may be, it all involves some sort of reassurance, that everything will turn out ok due to whatever the faith is based upon. That kind of faith starts to “open” your eyes to the environment, and influences your perception to find the opportunities that can help alleviate your worries. And let’s not forget about having faith in yourself as well. It can instill in you the confidence to handle anything thrown at you.
It’s easy to worry all the time with all the pressures and events that life tends to throw at us but it’s better to realize that we have the power to stop the worry flow. The power to seize the day. The power to take back control. The power to learn. The power to ask. The power to act. And to stop worrying about the things we can’t change in our lives. And to start working on the things we can.
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