How to Deal With Unexpected Change In Your Life
By: Brian Kim - November 7, 2007
If you haven’t experienced any unexpected change in your life yet, I’ll guarantee you that you will, but I’m pretty sure though, that everyone reading this has experienced it in one form or another in their lives.
The kind of change I’m talking about here is not positive unexpected change, because that’s easy to deal with. It’s “negative” unexpected change and I put the word negative in quotes because it does seem like that at first.
The loss of a job, the death of a loved one, natural disaster, lost friendship – these unexpected changes have a way of bringing us some very dark times in our lives. That being said, how do we deal with it?
First off, because the change is so unexpected, it catches us off guard. Things are going along smoothly in our lives - we’re basking in the sun one minute and all of a sudden, we’re shattered against the rocks the next.
The first time of each type of unexpected change hits us the hardest. Getting dumped for the 1st time, losing your job for the 1st time, going bankrupt for the 1st time - the 1st time is always the hardest. After that, you know what to expect if that kind of change happens again so the degree of impact it has is substantially reduced.
But it’s easy to say that after the fact, so how do we deal with it the first time it occurs?
Don’t fight it.
Let loose – all of it; the emotions, the tears, the anger, the frustration, let it all out in a healthy way. Cleanse your emotional system. Put it all on the table.
The length of this period will be different for each individual, but we all go through it and when we do, we “broaden” our range of emotions and experiences so we know what to expect if it happens again. It won’t surprise us like it did the first time.
Then step back and take an objective look at the situation. Assess it and get clear about it. The more clearly you understand the situation, the better. Ultimately, what you want to do is accept what the situation is now.
Once you’ve done that, the next step is to move on.
Ask for help in doing that from the people you know and trust. Unexpected change has a way of bringing people closer together than anything else. The people who have been there in your situation before are the best ones who can help you simply because they know what you’re going through. They’ve already taken the journey and they know where you are right now and they know what will help you get through it all.
When your life gets back on track, unexpected change is bound to happen again, but when you start getting more and more experience in dealing with unexpected change in general, you’ll find yourself more and more in control of yourself and your life.
Constantly dealing with unexpected change in your life does that to you. Your “mourning” period gets shorter and shorter and you automatically go into assessment mode quicker and life tends to go on after a seemingly small bump in the road as opposed to a gaping crater before.
It makes you stronger than you were before. With more change, comes more experience, comes more knowledge, comes more opportunities, which you never would’ve been exposed to in the first place.
Unexpected change is the ultimate catalyst for life and it’s only after some time has passed after it has occurred that you realize you’ve been truly blessed for it.
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