Focus on Changing Within FIRST
By: Brian Kim - December 18, 2006
Most people attempt to change their life by focusing on what they can do to change the outside. They desperately search for something outside of themselves to change their life and when they find it, the change they seek is only short lived so they go on another hunt, and another until they engage in a never ending cycle of searching, but never finding any real lasting change. The answer lies not on seeking change outside of yourself; its lies in seeking change from within. When YOU change, your life changes. Period.
People who try to change the outside but fail to change the inside are running around in circles. Take for example people who seek to change their lives by winning the lottery. Most, if not all become broke within a couple of years after frivolously spending that money away. People try to change themselves via plastic surgery but even after they undergo it, some still feel the same as before. Some people think just by buying certain material items, that those items alone have the power to change who they are, but when you start letting external things define who you are, your existence becomes dependent on them. You must exist independently of these things.
It’s like men who try to attract women by memorizing pick up lines, or impressing them with their cars or through some other futile technique. Sure it may attract the woman in the beginning, but in due time she will see right past that façade and see the person for who they are, the person who has no solid sense of self and as a result, relies on external things to define who they are.
Don’t try to force change by looking on the outside but instead change from the inside because when you change the inside, your world will correspond naturally in due time and it does take time. The caterpillar does not become a butterfly overnight. Children do not change into adults overnight. Boys don’t become men overnight. When you look closely enough, you will find that true change is a result of metamorphosis, a gradual process of change that happens over time. When you undergo that metamorphosis, you will begin to experience true change for all it’s worth. During your metamorphosis, it may not look like much is happening to outsiders but that’s fine. Keep on doing it because you’re undertaking a journey that few people take.
Growth does not occur without input. Feed your mind. Feed your mind knowledge of how you can change yourself. Read the books. Listen to the tapes. Educate yourself because nobody can do it for you. Define who you want to be and get to work on becoming that person.
What good is it when the car is clean but the engine inside does not work? Yet that’s what many people do. They so desperately want to look good in the eyes of others that they neglect to change within and that’s where the most important part is.
When you begin to change by getting a solid grip of who you are, who you want to be, what you want to do, learn to discipline yourself, develop self control, manage your time, set goals, etc., you’ll find that all of that works together to create new circumstances and opportunities in your life that the old you would never have gotten in a million years. What results is an exponential increase in the quality of your life and that is all proportional to the time you spend working on yourself. Change within leads to lasting change in your life so choose to go down that road. It’s not an easy road but it’s well worth the travel.
Stop trying to look outside yourself to change because everything you need to change your life starts from within, then without: never the other way around.
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2 Responses to “Focus on Changing Within FIRST”
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December 19th, 2006 at
Awesome Post Brian!
As an Exercise Scientist and Trainer I have spent much of the last twenty-five years helping people change their body. Smaller, bigger, lighter, leaner, more muscle, more flexibility, speed, power… Athletes, non-athletes, kids, mums, dads…..whatever they were after; that’s what I did my best to deliver.
Anais Nin was spot on when she made the following observation:
“We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.”
Have you ever helped a friend through a relationship crisis and been absolutely stunned and amazed when you got around to chatting to their significant other to get their interpretation of events?
It’s like, “are you guys talking about the same thing?”
How can two people in the one relationship or situation, talking about the same issues, have such a completely different take on things and both ‘know’ they’re right? This happens in marriages, workplaces, friendships and a range of situations, every second of every day, in every corner of the globe.
It’s called perspective; how WE personally see things.
Our reality.
To my amazement and disappointment, I discovered a few years ago that not everyone lives on planet Craig.
Obviously a big loss for humanity.
Sadly, I had to learn to listen to others; not easy for an only child.
Keep up the great writing Brian. Love your Blog!
Craig Harper
john@craigharper.com.au
http://www.craigharper.com.au
December 19th, 2006 at
Hi Craig,
Thank you very much for the kind words and for stopping by. I really appreciate it! Glad to have another visitor from the land down under (a lot of my visitors seem to be from AU for some reason)
I know all too well about what you’re talking about because I went through the EXACT same process. The great thing about it is that you learn to listen like you said, which that in it of itself, is such a powerful skill to have.
25 years! Congratulations on all the hard work and dedication. It’s refreshing to see someone pursue such a worthy goal.
I visited your site and it’s crystal clear you are very knowledgeable on the subject and have a red hot passion for it.
Here’s to another 25
Brian