Why Giving Will Always Lead to Receiving; Even When It Comes to Money
By: Brian Kim - October 25, 2006
By: Brian Kim - October 25, 2006
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You reap what you sow. What you give, you will receive. You get back what you put in. Itâs indisputable law.Â
We see evidence of this on a daily basis. We get angry at a person, they get angry at us. We treat others with respect, we in turn get treated with respect. If we are nice and courteous to others, others are nice and courteous to us.Â
Now when it comes to money, people seem to hesitate in believing that this law still holds true. People seem disinclined to give their money away, whether to a charity, religious organization, or any other worthy cause because they believe theyâll never see their money again, that itâs gone the moment they give it away and that they’ll never get it back. Itâs as if thereâs a mental block that some like to label as selfishness, greed, hoarding, fear, whatever you like to call it.Â
Why do people hesitate to give their money away?Â
Because they donât immediately see what the return is that they get.Â
Before I continue, let me make something VERY CLEAR. You will ALWAYS, without a shadow of a doubt, get something in return for what you give and that law holds true for money just like everything else.
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You see, weâve been conditioned to only give out money when we immediately see what it is that we get in return. We pay for gas because we immediately see the returns of using that gas to visit our family, our significant other, to commute to work, to run errands, to go on vacation, etc. When we pay for that candy bar, we get that sweet taste in our mouth within seconds. That sweet taste is the return we immediately derive from giving our money to the cashier.  When we pay for that tennis racket, the countless number of tennis games we can play with it is the return we immediately see.Â
But when we give money away to a homeless person, to a religious organization, or to a charity we donât immediately see the return we get, and whatâs more people donât think that they will ever get a return.Â
But donât you see? Thatâs the beauty of it. You choose to give your money away despite the fact that you donât immediately see the return you get. You canât possibly see how that money will come back to you but it does. Remember, it is law. If it works for everything else, what makes you think it wonât work for money?
But still, people are skeptic. If that law is true they say, does that mean when I donate, letâs say $20 to the Red Cross to support victims of Hurricane Katrina, that another $20 magically appears in my wallet as soon as I give it out? No. You see, this kind of skepticism serves to weed out the people who have that genuine spirit of giving as opposed to those who donât. What do I mean by genuine spirit of giving?Â
When you give without expecting anything in return.Â
If you genuinely give your money away, that kind of genuine generosity spills over to other areas of your life. You become more generous with your time, words, and actions toward your friends, families, and coworkers.Â
Compare and contrast those who willingly give money away to a worthy cause because they want to as opposed to those who refuse to give a dime away because they donât see how it will benefit them. Compare their personalities. Is one more selfish than the other? Would people be willing to help the selfish one? Is one more caring and helpful than the other? Would people gladly help the one more caring and helpful? Absolutely.
If youâre willing to help a total stranger living thousands of miles away without expecting anything in return, how much more will you be willing to help those that are close to you? And when you help those who are close to you by giving them your time, money, support, sympathy, anything, you will get back the money you gave away.Â
It might not come back in the form of money, but something even more valuable. You become so generous with your friends that they help you get a better job with more pay. That increase in pay is the return you get. If youâre generous with your coworkers, they might nominate you for worker of the year and youâll get a raise. That raise, when added up for the remainder of your stay at that company will probably be worth hundreds, if not thousands of more dollars than what you originally gave. That is the return you get. If youâre generous with your friends, you will cultivate a friend for life, something priceless that canât be compared with the money you gave away.Â
You see, itâs difficult for me to give you a âone glove fits allâ theory of how you will get back what you gave, but mark my words, it will happen in one form or another, because youâve been able to overcome the selfish conditioning that money seems to have on people.Â
You see, the point Iâm trying to make is if you give away money purely because you want to, thatâs the key, not giving out money because you expect to get something back, but doing it purely out of want, youâve been able to conquer the quality of selfishness that seems to condition the majority of people when it comes to money. Selfish thoughts of âWhatâs in it for me?âÂ
It takes a lot to be able to overcome that negative conditioning and the only way to overcome that negative conditioning is to develop a willingness to give. Because you want to. Because you genuinely want to. Thatâs the key. Itâs that wanting to give, that mentality that will help you get your return.
You know what happens when someone genuinely gives?
They will inevitably get their return and when they do, they will link that blessing to their giving, which further reinforces their drive to give. It will strengthen their belief that giving always leads to receiving so they will be more inclined to do so.
Let me give you an example of what Iâm talking about. A friend of mine bought me and a few other friends lunch one day and he did it purely because he wanted to. He had no hidden agenda, no favor to ask, just wanted to spend some time with his buddies and catch up.Â
A few minutes later, he got a business call and stepped outside to talk for some time. When he came back, he was grinning from ear to ear because he basically landed a small gig that paid $500. Hereâs the key point. When he came back to the table, he said with a big smile and I quote âIf you give, you shall receiveâ. He linked up the giving away of his money to buy lunch for us to receiving that $500.Â
Now did buying that lunch cause that call to come? Logic dictates that it had no influence whatsoever. I fail to see how buying lunch at a restaurant for a bunch of friends can compel someone who lives 50 miles away and has no idea he is doing this to pick up the phone and call him to offer a job. The events were neutral but he analyzed them to confirm his belief that giving truly leads to receiving, often more than what he gave.
Now hereâs the cool part. Would he have still gotten that call had he not bought us lunch? Logic would dictate yes as the events were unrelated. And when he did get that call, what would he have chalked it up to? Something totally unrelated to giving.Â
Maybe luck or just another business call or maybe itâs a good day. He wouldâve never associated giving with receiving and that might have prevented him from doing future acts of service.
You must develop a genuine desire to give.
What that means is to give because you want to without expecting anything in return.Â
If you do that, your genuine desire to give will spill over to other areas of your life naturally.Â
That helps contribute to your inevitable return which comes in the form of money or of some other shape, which will then magnify your experience and strengthen your belief of the law of giving and receiving.
Your belief gets magnified because you link the blessing you got to your giving so you do it again and again and you keep on getting because you keep on giving.
The important thing is that you FIRST overcome the selfish conditioning that money brings by developing a desire to genuinely give.
Now after reading this, some might jump to the wrong conclusion of thinking that if they give, theyâll receive more, so they use that as their primary motivation to give, but that defeats the entire purpose.
Why? Because you havenât developed a desire to genuinely give FIRST. Thatâs the first step. If you are giving solely for the purpose of receiving, youâre only giving to get.Â
By giving only to get, that implies HUGE LACK on your part. If you think you have lack, you will get it. By giving only to get, you sow lack in your mind, so you will get it back.Â
Youâre trying to skip step 1, which is to develop a genuine spirit of giving and itâs the most crucial and important step because everything hangs upon it.
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There are no shortcuts in life.Â
Not everybody can cultivate the desire to genuinely give, but if you do, rest assured, your return will be hundreds of times more valuable than what you gave in the first place.
Give without expecting anything in return, and the rest will fall into place naturally.Â
October 25th, 2006 at
You can play a funny game… give to those who cannot return because if the recipient cannot give you back what you gave… God will have to give it. He will not let you go “unpunished” for any good deed. The interest God gives is in direct proportion to how fast you can forget giving.
Also you know…. money is a poor master but a very good servant. Use it as a servant… if you hear it saying “but we will part forever…” take the upper hand and tell it “SHUT UP, go and fetch me a good deed!”
December 17th, 2006 at
[…] Brian Kim presents Why Giving Will Always Lead to Receiving; Even When It Comes to Money posted at Brian Kim.net. […]
December 21st, 2006 at
[…] Why Giving Will Always Lead to Receiving; Even When It Comes to Money, Brian KimOne really positive model to help you re-think your attitudes to money, with practical guidance for your life. […]
February 15th, 2007 at
Hi Brian;
Good Thinking;
however if I may add some other rewards to giving even greater then money returned,
I go to a gas station, fill up, walk in to the cashier pay for my gas, then hand her/him a dollar. LOOK at them as the take the money, look at the smile! Listen to the THANK YOU! I ‘m not sure about others, but I get such a glow from THEIR reactio, that enters the very fibers of my being, and what this does is Put one’s spirit ,if you will, into a positive, happy mode. What better gift can one recieve than THAT which enhances oneself with a feeling of happiness.
And…. Just before Christmas a close friend of mine asked (First time since we’ve known each other in 27 years,,,If he could borrow .200.00. Now I am retired and on a fixed income, no savings to speak of, however the reason being I save up to pay for my rent( by the year. which takes me most of the year to save 2200.00),,,and that way I save ONE HUNDRED SIXTY dollars a MONTH rent. I took the rent money and gave it to him.. He is honest and trustworthy , but Even If I didn’t get repaid,,He was so happy to get the loan he wrote me and Tan thankes me ANS sent me a pluf in flashlite for the car. If he did not send or repay, The joy on his face was my reward as I felt great just from that. I wish you, and ALL your readers Well… Nick
February 15th, 2007 at
Hi Nick,
Thanks for dropping by and sharing your stories and thoughts with us.
You’re absolutely right - you can get more rewards other than money from giving that you can’t put a price tag on.
More happiness in giving than receiving eh
Thanks again and I wish you well.
Don’t be a stranger
Brian
August 27th, 2007 at
Ok, I guess I’ll be the smart Alec.
Brian, how about a free copy of your book “The Hidden Secret in Think and Grow Rich”.
I promise, based on my sources, that “It might not come back in the form of money, but something even more valuable.”
Thanks in advance
August 29th, 2007 at
Mike,
Looks like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders
I’ve given away over 140+ articles for free and I’ve received a lot in return so I don’t feel the need to test that theory again with my book
August 29th, 2007 at
Nuts!
August 29th, 2007 at
By the way, thanks for the compliment.
June 18th, 2008 at
Brian, I love your MITs and find them really inspiring and helpful. I often send applicable ones on to my high school and college aged children.
I was feeling low today and scanned your website for inspiration. This article on “Giving leads to receiving” caught my eye. I just had this talk with my daughter last night and encouraged her to give without expecting anything and also to feel gratitude for the good things in her life and to express that gratitude when possible.
After I went to bed though, I started to feel very sorry for myself. I love to give and although I am not well off and am struggling to make ends meet with three kids in college, I try really hard to be generous and give any way I can. We have a large extended family (my husband is one of nine children) and I love to send cards and gifts to acknowledge achievements or birthdays or special events. I have spent long hours putting together a family website and archiving historical family photos. I have planned the reunions and anniversary parties that everyone comes to and seems to have a really good time at. I do this because I like to and I think family is important. But it dawned on me last night that it seems like I do all the giving and no one, except my husband, has ever bothered to say thank you or reciprocate in any way. My son recently graduated from college and not one family member said a word about it. My birthday came and went without a phone call or card. I have not received a call or note after I bought a very generous gift for my niece when she got married. I planned a fiftieth anniversary party for my in laws, purchased and organized the entire event and invited their friends. Everyone attended and had a wonderful time, but not one person said a word to me and the list goes on.
I now feel guilty for even feeling bad about these things. I didn’t do them for the thank yous or recognition and I did get satisfaction from making others happy, but I am starting to feel resentful at the cumulative lack of gratitude. Is there a point where you don’t keep giving to people who don’t appreciate things? How do I practice what I preach and give without expecting anything in return?
August 17th, 2008 at
I enjoyed reading your articles. It is very informative.
August 24th, 2008 at
Valerie,
First off, I want to congratulate you for all the work you do for your family! It seems very rare nowadays that somebody will go to the lengths that you do for your family. Unfortunately, it’s also common nowadays for people to be unthankful and take others for granted.
My advice would be to keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t let the inactions of others bring you down. You might also see if you can get others to help you instead of doing all the work yourself. It might cause them to appreciate your work that much more.
Other than that, I encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing. It would be a shame to see such a giving person become jaded as a result of all that’s been going on.
Jane,
I’m glad you enjoyed the articles. I hope they’ve helped!
November 5th, 2009 at
Hello Brian,.
Iâve only been reading your MITs and articles for a week but this one really hit the mark! âWhy Giving Will Always Lead to Receiving; Even When It Comes to Moneyâ
Last night I delivered a hand picked fruit basket to my daughter as a gesture of reconciliation for a minor quarrel weâd had. She wasnât in, so I had to leave it in the porch, and I was so excited at how she would feel upon receiving it.
I then went on to see a show presented by disabled performers, which filled my heart with great joy. I bought a handful of raffle tickets - spending more than I would normally, becauseâŠ.well⊠because I just felt like it!
What do you knowâŠ.I won first prize and now have the most beautiful and extravagant Xmas hamper!
I appreciate you werenât advising that returns are always immediate and financially profitable, but I remember I used to be a âluckyâ person and I think this was when I wasnât such a miserable scrooge intent on looking after just MYSELF! Sure, someoneâs got to look after me but, by and large, I have a good, secure, happy life.
So my reward is not just the hamper but the realisation that I need to find that unselfish person once again.
The sun is shining where I am - itâs a good day!
Many thanks Brian.
Not sure if you got my first message because my computer is playing up!
November 20th, 2009 at
Great story Dawn!
Thanks for sharing.
Our returns WILL come - from where we don’t know. But they always do, and more often than not, in greater value.