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It’s ALL YOU: Always Was, Always Is, Always Will Be

By: Brian Kim - July 18, 2006

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All too often, people allow their lives to be dictated by their own automatic responses to events in their environment.

They have no idea of the immense power they possess.

For example, if John Smith was laid off at his company, his automatic response instantly kicks in and the following thoughts begin to creep into his head:

“I must not be good at my job. My boss must not like me. Why does this always happen to me? What’s wrong with me?" And down the abyss he goes.

By engaging in this automatic reactive behavior, people give their power away, little by little, until they become like a ship with no sails, no rudders, no oars, no engines, no propellers, tossed here and there at the mercy of the storms and winds of life.

Sad to say, this is an accurate description of most people living today.

The root cause of this tragedy is that they fail to realize that they have a choice.

You have a choice.

You have the choice to assign any meaning you wish to any event that occurs in your life.

It’s very important that you realize this so I will say it again.

You have the choice to assign any meaning you wish to any event that occurs in your life.

The choice you make in assigning meaning to events in your life is extremely important because it you'll find it influences your future greatly. It is analogous to the butterfly effect.

The butterfly effect basically states that the flap of a butterfly’s wings can potentially cause a storm halfway across the globe. In other words, little things can lead to big things.

Every meaning you choose to give to an event in your life opens up a thousand possible destinations. That kind of power is much too valuable to be given away. You must seize that power and control of it. By doing so, you will open the doors you choose to go through.

How many times have you said, if “I wasn’t there at that time and place” or “If I didn’t get to know that person, I wouldn’t be where I was today”, etc. Well guess what? The reason why you were there at the right time and the right place and the reason why you had the chance to speak to that person was because you gave meaning to a past event that led you to that situation.

Every action you take is preceded by thought, more specifically, the meaning you give to events in your life.

For example, let’s continue the example given in the beginning of this article and break it down to see the power behind giving meaning to events in your life.

Event: John Smith was laid off.

(notice how the event has no meaning until it is assigned one)

Meaning: “I must not be good enough. My boss hates me. Everyone hates me. They conspired to fire me. How come nobody likes me? How come I can’t keep a job?

Results: John Smith stays home, blames everyone but himself, wallows in his depression, and drinks away his sorrows for the day.

2nd time

Event: John Smith was laid off.

Meaning: I’ve had a history of being laid off because of conflicts with bosses and coworkers. Maybe I’m the common thread. Maybe I’ve got to learn how to deal with people.

Results: Goes to the library and checks out Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, applies the knowledge, gets a new job through someone he knows who was happy to refer him, and succeeds.
Some of you may be rolling your eyes at this, but think about it carefully.

Every day of your life is full of choices you can make that will greatly alter your future, no matter how insignificant they may seem.

A guy cuts you off on the road to work and flips you off as well. You come into work angry, which affects how you treat your employees for the day. You may damage relationships, your work may suffer, careless mistake are made, etc., all because you chose to be reactive to the events around you, instead of using your power of choice.

Realize that this power of choice was only bestowed upon human beings. Animals are purely reactive to the situation. They have no choice. They live their lives in a permanently reactive state.

It is this power of choice that separates man from beast.

How To Sieze This Great Power

The only way to seize that power is to realize that everything that is happening in your life as of this second, is a direct result of your thoughts, more specifically, on the meanings you have assigned to past events in your life.

That can be described in two words: Personal Responsibility.

Instead of blaming the world, your parents, your co workers, your boss, your friends for your current situation, realize that it’s ALL YOU. It always was, always is, and always will be ALL YOU.

I know it hurts, but exercise your choice of power here. What does this mean? You could give it the usual meaning: “Oh man, since it’s all me, I must be a loser. I suck”.

OR

"WOW! If it is ALL ME, then I, and only I, have the power to shape the future any way I please!"

Choose the second meaning and you will have instilled in yourself a trait that is commonly found in all successful people, which is referred to as an “internal locus of control.”

Once this power has been claimed, the possibilities are staggering.

For example, prior to your newfound internal locus of control, your life was analogous to a book being written by another person.

Now that you have the power, take back the pen, flip back, and cross out the meanings you have assigned to events in your past. Then, rewrite new meanings. You’ve effectively rewrote history. You’ve changed the past.

If you can do that, how much easier will it be to write new history on blank paper!

The point I want to make is stop thinking that you don’t have a choice.

You have a choice.

You always have a choice.

Embrace the power. Accept responsibility and realize that as soon as you do that, you have the power to change not only the past and the present, but the future.

For the majority of their adult life, most adults have not exercised this muscle of choice. No doubt it will be hard to use. It has atrophied. You will not be able to use it consistently until the muscle has been worked out.

So be aware you have the power. That is the first step.

Continue to exercise that power on a daily basis for small and big events alike, until it becomes habitual.

I understand there will be times when an event occurs, where there won’t be a chance for you to ponder what meaning to give it. If somebody slugs you in the face, I doubt you’d stand there and rub your chin and ponder the meaning to this event. You would react instinctively by either fighting back or running.

But realize that when you have time to cool off, you can change the past to change your future and do so accordingly.

Always ask yourself this question whenever you feel an event will affect you in some way:

What does this mean to me?

Then choose from a vast array of meanings one that will suit you and take you forward in the direction you want to go .

Once you accept the fact that your life today is a direct result of your thoughts, you automatically accept that your life can be now shaped directly by the choice of your thoughts and your thoughts alone.

Nothing outside of you. All you. And only you.

[tags]inspiration, motivation, control, life[/tags]

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6 Responses to “It’s ALL YOU: Always Was, Always Is, Always Will Be”

  1. How to Have a Great Day Says:

    […] By deciding you are going to have a great day, you “pre-program” your mind to interpret the events that happen to you in a positive light.  Always remember that events have no meaning except the one you give it.  (btw, I’ve discussed this concept in another article.  For more information, you can read it here. […]

  2. Why Life Isn’t Fair Says:

    […] It’s what separates man from beast.  I wrote more about it this in a previous article entitled:  It’s ALL YOU:  Always was, Always is, Always will be. […]

  3. Bryan C. Fleming » Personal Growth Carnival - Nov 14th Says:

    […] Brian Kim presents It’s ALL YOU: Always Was, Always Is, Always Will Be posted at Brian Kim. […]

  4. RY Says:

    Great post on reframing the situation and taking personal responsibility. I whole-heartedly agree!
    -RY
    Mangrove Root Gang

  5. Brian Kim Says:

    RY,

    Thanks for the comment. Glad you dropped by.

  6. Reader Success Story: If You Met Her 10 Years Ago, You Would’ve Thought She Was On a Sad and Painful Path of Despair » The Definitive Self Improvement Blog - BrianKim.net Says:

    […] I simply decided that even if getting better for myself wasn’t enough, I had to get better because of all the people out there who need me and because of all of the things I know I can do to help the world. Thank goodness I understood that I had to put myself first. […]

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