There’s an old joke I remembered that goes something like this.
A man is walking down the street and sees a sign that reads:
“Happiness is right around the corner.”
Eager to find happiness, he sprints down the street and turns the corner only to find another sign which reads:
“Happiness is right around the corner.”
Eager to find happiness, he sprints down the street and turns the corner only to find – well, you can pretty much guess the rest.
It’s something all of us can relate to and instead of our sign reading “Happiness is right around the corner”, it reads:
“I’ll be happy when…”.
“I’ll be happy when I graduate from school and get a high paying job”
“I’ll be happy when I buy my first house.”
“I’ll be happy when I pay off all my credit card debt.”
“I’ll be happy when I have enough saved for retirement.”
“I’ll be happy when I get married.”
“I’ll be happy when I have children.”
“I’ll be happy when my children get married.”
And the list goes on and on and on.
As soon we achieve any one of these events, are we happy?
Or do we instead just replace the latter part of the “I’ll be happy when” sign with another event?
We know that if we engage in this type of thinking, the loop will never end.
It will never end.
There will always be something out there that we hang our happiness upon.
So how do we avoid this trap?
The answer is simple.
And obvious.
You can choose to be happy NOW.
You can choose NOT to tie your happiness to the fulfillment of a certain event.
You can choose to stop the never ending chase, and instead, let happiness come to you.
This is where the usual advice of focusing on what you have NOW and greatly appreciating it comes into play (yes I know it’s cliché but the idea goes one step further. Keep reading to see how).
A roof over your head.
Family.
Friends.
A job.
The list of things we can focus on and greatly appreciate goes on and on and on.
It stops the chase, allows us to re-center ourselves, and really be grateful at what we have NOW and yes, I know it’s cliché, and yes I know it’s been said millions of times, but it needs to be said again and again and again (you’ll find the most important things in life are the ones most often said).
Some of you might have already expected this type of answer and may be rolling your eyes at this, thinking – “Yes, well this is all nice, fluffy, pie in the sky thinking but in the real world, if you think like this, you won’t get what you want.”
Not necessarily.
Remember, whatever you FOCUS on GROWS in your reality.
Focus on the good things in your life, and those good things will grow and that will eventually help get you what you want – the exact thing you thought by getting, would make you happy, but now, you’re ALREADY happy, AND getting what you want – which is just icing on the cake.
I know that’s a big mouthful so I’ll say it again.
Whatever you FOCUS on GROWS in your reality.
Focus on the good things in your life, and those good things will grow and that will eventually help get you what you want – the exact thing you thought by getting, would make you happy, but now, you’re ALREADY happy, AND getting what you want – which is just icing on the cake.
I know it might sound a little confusing so let me explain with an example.
Let’s say instead of thinking “I’ll be happy when I’ve found my dream job”, you focus on the fact that you’re grateful that you DO have a job right now (especially in this kind of economy).
Sure it’s not something you enjoy that much, but at least it’s a paying job.
Now since you view your job in a different, more positive light now, wouldn’t your attitude toward it change? Maybe you’ll be more productive or find ways to make your job even better for you. Or maybe you’ll find even better ways of doing it. Or maybe you’ll just attack it with a newfound sense of vigor. Maybe you’ll pay more attention to it, do a damn good job of it, the kind a rookie would do to prove himself.
Now seeing how you’re doing all that, what if management saw all this and decided you were the front runner for the next promotion in line?
And you got a better job, one that’s more suited to your liking with better pay?
The kind of job you thought would make you happy.
Only in this case, you’re ALREADY happy AND you got what you thought would make you happy TOO.
Let’s use another example.
Maybe you focus on the fact that you’re grateful for your spouse. Instead of seeing all of the negative qualities, maybe you look upon the positive ones, and in the process get a better, much stronger relationship out of it.
Instead of the old “I’ll be happy when my wife stops nagging me all time” or “I’ll be happy when my husband pays more attention to me”, can you see how focusing on the good things about your spouse and expressing your appreciation for them to them can help you get what you want indirectly– what you thought would make you happy in the first place?
You can choose.
You can choose to be happy NOW, by focusing on the great things in your life and expressing your appreciation for them, and letting those great things grow in your reality, helping you indirectly get what you originally thought would make you happy.
Remember, you can ALWAYS choose.
