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How to Swallow Your Pride and Admit You’re In the Wrong

By: Brian Kim - June 27, 2010

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Our defense mechanism when it comes to protecting our pride - it does wonders.

Absolute wonders.

It comes up with excuse after excuse after excuse to convince ourselves we are in the right.

Logic up the whazoo.

And in some cases, we just might be in the right.

But in some, we might not.

Here’s how to tell.

If you find the defense mechanism going WAY overboard to the point where it seems to be pulling everything out, every last morsel and scrap of logical defense, it might be a sign that something’s not right.

No rule of thumb here other than you get the feeling that the logical arguments your defense mechanism comes up with are hollow at best and carry no weight.

In other words, deep down inside, you know.

And it’s so, so, so damn hard to admit that you are in the wrong.

And the longer you keep on being stubborn in that respect, you find yourself coming head on with disaster.

Pride’s a funny thing.

It has a way of just making the next couple of steps we take go downhill automatically.

So right there, we discussed two things you can do to swallow your pride and admit to yourself that you might be in the wrong.

Seeing how the defense mechanisms is working to see if you might be in the wrong and getting outside from the present moment of defending yourself and seeing where this path you’re taking will carry you to get further confirmation.

When you see the future negative impact, you’re not going to like it so that will help give you some pause when you’re on your defense rampage.

So now what?

Realize you’re imperfect.

Give yourself permission to be wrong.

It’s highly unlikely you’re going to right on every single issue in your lifetime.

Really feel that and understand that.

Allow yourself the possibility that you might be wrong.

Feel the muscles in your body unclench as you do.

Then, here’s the most crucial part.

Focus on what’s right.

Get outside yourself and your pride and focus on what’s right.

Get that distance.

Focus on what’s right and from there, you’ll know what the right thing to do is.

Then focus on what the domino effect of that will be and when you see the pleasurable future, you’ll start to feel good about all this.

Here’s where I usually give example to tie everything up that we discussed, but I’m going to make an exception here because I don’t want to pigeon hole this framework into a type of example, such as a falling out with a friend or financial disputes between mates, etc.

I’m going to leave this framework here and have the reader insert his/her experience into it and see if it makes sense to them.

And if so, go through the process and come out of it, with swallowed pride, humility, but more importantly, how their future will be bright because of it.

It’s a great learning experience and over time, you’ll come to the same conclusion that you’re always the better for it.

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3 Responses to “How to Swallow Your Pride and Admit You’re In the Wrong”

  1. Miranda Cruz Says:

    It’s hard admitting that you’re wrong. It’s very seldom I admit that I’m wrong. I can count on my fingers the number of times I did that. Even if I was the one who did something wrong, I ain’t gonna admit it and I ain’t going to say sorry.

    I know it’s not good thing. It’s just that, I don’t know, it’s just hard.

  2. Brian Kim Says:

    I’m sure you’re not alone in feeling that way Miranda.

    Thanks for sharing.

  3. Miranda Cruz Says:

    I guess my pride is just way up there. But deep inside, I’m saddened with guilt. I just couldn’t admit that I’m wrong. I just can or shall we say I don’t want to.

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