The title of the article might be a bit confusing so let me explain how I came about writing this.

A reader emailed me with a problem he was having. He wanted certain things in life, but at the same time, didn’t really want it so there was no desire to propel himself to take the actions necessary to get it.

So he wanted to know “how to want it”.

It’s an interesting dilemma because we automatically assume that if you want something, that burning desire is already there to begin with.

But how can you want something but not really want it at the same time?

Well the obvious reason is perhaps the desire just isn’t strong enough so how do you go about strengthening your desire? Should you even do it in the first place? Moreover, what are some other reasons that can explain this interesting dilemma?

The very first thing to do is check your diet and exercise. Low calorie intake coupled with lack of exercise is just asking for mental fatigue and depression. When the physical is weak, the mind will be weak too.

Eating more and exercising can help boost your mental level to the point where you can get back on your horse and tap into that burning desire you had once more.

But let’s say you do that, and you still find yourself not wanting it. What now?

You have to really consider WHY you want it.

What’s the REAL reason why you want to do it?

There’s an old adage in sales that a prospect usually doesn’t buy for two reasons. The first is just a smokescreen to get the salesman pitching to back off, but it’s ultimately the second reason that reveals the truth.

Similarly, we all have our “first” reason for doing something, but more likely than not, it’s not the REAL reason.

You need to get in touch with the second reason.

In other words, you need to get in touch with the ROOT of your desire.

For some people, their desires to do something are rooted in negative emotions such as anger, fear, revenge, and while that can give you a temporary boost in energy, it will fade over time and it won’t do you any good in the long haul and will also cause you serious mental and physical harm.

However, if your desire is rooted in something positive, that tends to help you go the distance and to really want it.

And one of the most positive roots you can base your desires on to do something is to CONNECT it with PURPOSE OUTSIDE YOURSELF.

You see, most people want to do things SOLELY for themselves and while that’s OK, it’s insufficient for the long haul.

When you are going for something that’s connected to a higher purpose outside yourself, it becomes really easy to want it because it’s not just about you anymore.

It’s about that high purpose and more often than not, that will include other people, who have the same shared vision.

And when you have other people who are willing to pursue the same purpose, and you get together and associate, it’s easy to keep each other motivated. That desire, that “wanting” rubs off on everyone.

Moreover, when people band together to pursue a shared purpose, it’s easier to get things done. You have resources, contacts, labor to use and what happens is you begin to see results on the actions you’ve taken and you get even more motivated and it all starts to snowball from there.

Contrast that with trying to get something that ONLY benefits you – see how many people will be willing to hop on board to pursue that purpose.

If you desire something only for yourself, you will inevitably reach a plateau of wanting. Once that desire for something expands outside of you, it’s as if you tapped into a HUGE source of energy to make you really want it.

On an entirely different note, it’s also possible that you THINK you SHOULD want to pursue x, y, z but on closer inspection, realize that maybe it was something your parents wanted for you or society wanted for you so it’s no wonder why you had trouble wanting it because YOU really didn’t want it in the first place.

If that’s the case, great! Don’t pursue it. You will just be working against yourself if you do.

You shouldn’t have to FORCE yourself to WANT something. That’s artificial desire.

You should choose a goal that motivates you NATURALLY.

What does the goal do for you?

Does it make you EXCITED when you think about reaching it?

If not, perhaps you have to change the OTHER side of the equation – change the goal into something that will GIVE you the burning desire, rather than try to come up with it on your own.

And last but not least, it’s important to realize this as well.

It’s natural to have low energy sometimes in the pursuit of something.

Your desire will traverse between highs and lows. That’s life. That’s why we have winter and spring. That’s why we have high tide, low tide, positive, negative, the moon, the sun, etc.

And we find that when we are in the low part, it seems like we can’t get ourselves out but we soon realize that it’s precisely when we’re in the low part that we’re FORCED to reexamine our roots more closely and in doing so, find that we can reignite our burning desire once again.

  
     

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