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How Affirmations Work

By: Brian Kim - July 14, 2008

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Many readers have been asking me various questions on affirmations and my thoughts on them in general so I wanted to write an article that would encompass everything about the concept of affirmations.

Affirmations are one of those things that many people get frustrated by. At first glance, from an outside observer, the whole thing looks silly and even laughable - a person speaking to himself, thinking that just by doing so, his every wish will come true. But we all know that’s not how it works.

Some people, after hearing miracle type stories attributed to affirmations, get curious and give it a shot, but they don’t experience the same results as some other people have gotten and as a result, get frustrated, thinking that they’re doing something wrong, trying to pinpoint it and getting lost in the minutia of it all.

What are affirmations exactly? What exactly do they do? How exactly do they work? What’s the exact correct way of doing them?

Let’s dive right in and start answering these questions.

Affirmations are simply positive statements that you repeat to yourself on a consistent basis.

What do they do?

They’re there to drill positive beliefs into your mind through sheer repetition because when you hear something often enough, you’ll soon start to believe it.

Does it magically happen? Does the utterance of affirmations themselves magically cause the changes you seek?

Of course not.

Then how exactly does it work?

Affirmations give you something to focus on and the sheer repetition of it drives that affirmation into your subconscious mind where your subconscious mind then “filters” reality to match the affirmation you’re telling yourself or shows you the opportunities that you can take in order to match the affirmations with your reality.

But that’s the extent of it. It’s up to you to take it from there.

But how exactly do you do it?

Do you use the word “You” or “I”? What happens if you don’t really believe your affirmation? Doesn’t it just backfire on you and make the whole situation worse? Do you use future tense or present tense? How often do you have to do it before you see results?

When deciding whether to use the word “I” or “You”, use “I”. “I” makes it that much more personal and is much more effective because when you use the word “you”, it doesn’t pack as much of a stronger punch than “I”.

Some people recite an affirmation that they don’t truly believe in deep down inside, hoping that eventually they will believe in it due to the sheer repetition of it. That kind of thinking sounds logical at first glance, but look deeper and you’ll see it’s ultimately fails. You will be “fighting” yourself in the beginning stages so the affirmations never really take root and since you don’t see any progress in your reality after time passes by because of your conscious disbelief (if you don’t consciously believe, how do you expect your subconscious to believe?), your disbelief grows that much stronger until you never even bother to do the affirmations in the first place.

To counter all this, simply use a believable affirmation, but something that’s just on the edge of believability for you that you can almost taste it. Set an affirmation too easy and there’s no “kick” to it.

With regard to using future or present tense, the answer is simple. Use affirmations in the present tense. It gives it an “urgency” factor. If you drill into your mind that you are currently “x” and your mind sees that isn’t so, it will help you so that your reality will match what that “x” is because harmony must be achieved between mind and reality. There is a link between the two, albeit a lag in time in between the fulfillment of the two, but a link indeed. If you use the future tense in affirmations, your mind will literally “procrastinate” as it sees that the current reality is fine with what’s in your mind because someday, you will be x,y, or z.

One final point to make is that many people get caught up in the minutia of getting the “form” of affirmations right that they miss out on backing those affirmations with “force”.

It’s not enough to blandly recite your affirmations.

You must inject them with emotion.

Napoleon Hill stated that emotions are what drives beliefs into your subconscious mind (speaking of which, those who’ve read Think and Grow Rich as well as The Hidden Secret in Think and Grow Rich will be fully able to understand the place that affirmations have in the natural success process).

If you don’t have any emotion coupled with your affirmations, nothing gets drilled into your subconscious mind so there’s no value to be gained from reciting them.

So let’s take all of this and use an example to illustrate everything we’ve covered in the article.

Take for example, someone using affirmations to lose weight. Let’s say John Smith currently weighs 190 pounds and want to drop to 170 because for him, 170 is just on the edge of believability for him so it has that kick to it.

So he tells himself on a consistent basis:

“I weigh 170 pounds.”
“I weigh 170 pounds.”
“I weigh 170 pounds.”

Now, while that affirmation is “textbook” (uses the word “I”, is in the present tense, and is believable) that affirmation can get a bit boring really quick and John might lose all that emotion that goes along with it so in order to counter that, he can craft a more creative affirmation to give it more “kick.”

“I weigh 170 pounds and look GREAT in my new slimmer clothes!”

The same basic affirmation, but with a much greater kick.

This affirmation will drive John to hit the gym. It will penetrate his subconscious and instill the firm belief in there that it can be done, thereby filtering reality in order to show him the opportunities he can take to shed those twenty pounds by guiding him toward the right books (weight loss books, tapes, DVDs) and the right people (trainers, nutritionists, mentors) to help him with his cause, and all those things will come together to help match what is in his mind with actual reality in due time.

How long will it take until John Smith sees results with these affirmations? There’s no “textbook” answer. It depends on the individual but it’s safe to say that the results won’t be immediate. It will take time and consistency to drive the affirmations into the subconscious but once the belief takes root in there and progress is seen as a result, we know that the end result is not that far off.

Ultimately, in the end, affirmations are a proactive approach in determining what to plant in your mind because if you don’t take the time to plant something, then weeds in the form of negative thoughts will be planted automatically.

Affirmations are by no means the answer to everything in goal achievement. It’s merely a tool used to focus and drive new beliefs into the subconscious mind in order for the subconscious mind to filter reality in order to show opportunities that can be taken in order to achieve those affirmations.

Once those are shown, it’s up to you to take them and see which ones work for you.

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Reader Success Story: He Found Himself and His Identity and He’s Living HIS Life

By: Brian Kim - July 9, 2008

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I love getting reader success stories like these. This is one sent to me from a reader who is also by the name of Brian. It’s one that’s powerfully told and one that I think will touch a lot of people in a lot of different ways when they read it.

Usually, when I get a story like this, I like have a Q & A type interview to get more details on the story but I think Brian’s story is more than sufficient when it comes to the details and I also think that it would be better told in his own words, without a Q & A breaking up the flow of it.

Brian doesn’t hold back here. He tells it all, the good and the bad and I appreciate him for having the courage and honesty to put himself out there like this. I want to thank Brian for allowing his story be put on the blog for all to see.

So here is his story, told in his own words.


“To Brian Kim,

First of all I would like to say thank you very much for who you are as a person and the information on your site. I have and continue to benefit from your writing greatly. We are like-minded people. My name is also Brian. If anyone asks me how I think, I say to go to your site and read the articles because that’s the way I also think. I mention your site to increasing numbers of people.

Since I found your site one year ago in 2007 you have been with me on my journey on the road to success. Here’s how I found your site.

Personally I believe in God. I have always been interested in learning. One day I was reading an article about God on spiritdaily(.com), not that I agree with everything there. I have always had an interest in health. That site had a link to mercola(.com), not that I agree with everything there. One day the mercola site had an article on the Steve Jobs speech with a link to your site briankim(.net). That is how I found your site.

I started to read your articles and really connected with the information and the way it was written. Then, I ordered your ebook “The Hidden Secret in Think and Grow Rich” The testimonials from known people made it trustworthy to me.

For a brief introduction into my success story so far.

My passion for personal development started around 1979 when I was a kid. I remember sitting on the floor with a record player and a kids book. (Now I have a computer-ha). (If I recall correctly it was a rectangular shaped book with drawings in it, I don’t have it anymore, if anyone has an idea who the author was you can let me know). It was a read-along and the part I can remember was it played a president of the United States tune and said something like when I grow up I’m going to be president, etc.. Well the interesting thing is (subconsciously) when I was in high school I became student government president. [Also, I’m not there yet but sometime after 2008 I would like to start and be president of a company].

Fast-forward to the 1990s I continued to study self-help stuff. It did put positive information in my mind, but so much of it was not presented in an orderly structure that went step by step.

In high school I got caught up going by their system, repeated what they wanted to hear back to them and got top grades, played the sports (not that I wanted to or would have been better at and enjoyed) that they put me in. I have always had a positive attitude, been geared toward being happy and seeing the good, and have been driven to succeed. (in general, I’m a melancholic/phlegmatic-deeply thoughtful, read, think/friendly, easy-going). I lifted weights and had physical and inner strength. I am humble, but others recognized my power. I was voted most likely to succeed. This was the first I thought for myself what my definition of success was. I said it was the Emerson quote if one life breathes easier and I added to be rich. At that time I had just listened to Tony Robbins and quickly read TGR by N. Hill.

Then I went to a major university because that was the thing to do, even though I had no clue what I really desired to do. I thought I would go through another hoop in their system and end up with a good job. I was aware the classes I was taking were not going to benefit me, but for other reasons decided to please others and get it over with. I said what they wanted repeated, got good grades, did volunteer things, did not take classes I may have been more interested in, applied for jobs and nothing.

I felt let down. But my priority was the family I was from so I went back to a rural town with no decent jobs. (I’m actually crying now as I write this). [A significant part to better understand my story that probably wouldn’t be printed on a blog is that I’m the result of a teenage pregnancy. I’m a survivor. I am grateful just to be alive. I appreciate and enjoy life every day. I felt indebted to my relatives and didn’t just want to move away for a job. I figured just my presence being with and spending time with relatives, doing things with and for them, serving them, was my way of giving and sharing my deep love for them.].

From 2000-2007 was a complete struggle financially. With the stock market crash and so much going on in the world it was difficult to find even minimum wage jobs. Some viewed me as lazy, but I was really trying so hard to discover a way out, but could not find it.

I was a good person, moral, ethical, outstanding character, and prayed to God. Every day was a struggle to get food. My passion for exercise and nutrition was almost gone. The financial stress was taking a toll on my health. I was upset that I followed the high school/college route doing what others told me to do.

I finally realized that I was a disaster. I was not happy. I am a good looking, in shape, healthy man in my 30s and I am very sad to say I have honestly never dated girls. Girls are not going to date a man with no money to do anything.

When I look back on how I would have wanted to live my life, I would have dated girls in high school, college, to the present. I would have taken classes I was interested in.

My advice to anyone out there is no matter what others (parents, relatives, friends, teachers) may tell you to do, after the age of 18 or whatever, do what feels right for you, YOU live YOUR own life and you do what you want to do, it’s YOUR LIFE.

After high school, seek to get your own life together as fast as possible and get your own place. (Read “How to find what you love to do and get paid doing it” by Brian Kim and seek to implement this as fast as you can and start making money).

Everyone kept asking me where I worked and I felt bad because I had nothing good to say. I was feeling old beyond my years. Things got so bad financially by 2007 that the relatives I was doing my best to love looked at me like a loser and a financial failure. (Crying again).

This is what hurt me the most. I planned and thought it was just a few years away until I improved financially. When my relatives looked at me like a failure this is when I had my “Rocky” realization. It was like a knock out punch from my relatives. It felt like it broke me from the core of my being. It was like I was on the mat in the center of the ring of life and this was it. I was hurt so much by the ones I loved, that I felt like I was dying.

Then after many months of feeling like this there was “something” from within me (ie. my soul?), it was like what was left of a faint spark of a dying fire, and whatever energy I had left inside for one final choice, to give up and eventually die a true failure or to at least try to get back up and keep going.

This was my “Rocky” realization that even if I have family and friends that I am still the only one in the ring. Other people, even God, is not going to do things for me. Left on the mat with my head spinning if I am going to get up I am going to have to do it and get back up myself. I am going to have to do it for myself, not selfish, but for my own dignity and self-respect, to finally be my own person, think for myself, make my own decisions, and live my own life.

If I continue on to the success I desire for my life a big part of it will be because I never gave up on myself, I believe in myself, and the desire to live my own life purpose and vision kept me going.

While on the mat in the ring of life I made the decision to summon the energy left within me and get back up on my feet because there is more life I desire to live. These thoughts of and desire for living the rest of MY OWN LIFE, finally making money to eventually be able to date girls/create my own family by finding a wife, getting married, having children and enjoying life together, and having money to be able to provide for the needs of MY OWN family, and also to have a positive impact on this world by benefiting the lives of other people, is what has allowed me to get up and keep on going.

I would have to say that this has been a blessing because it has contributed to me finding myself and my identity. I did get back on my feet as a man. I was standing again in the summer of 2007. Where is one of the first places I went? For coffee? No. I went to Barnes and Noble bookstore. I read a few books on success/business/etc.

I then expanded my definition of success and purpose to include making money to be able to really live my own life/to have my own family/to do what I have desires to do during the rest of my life/etc.. I am committed to and focused on my definition of success and my one major definite purpose.

Around this time in 2007 I found briankim(.net) and the great articles contributed to me thinking successfully to achieve my definition of success and life vision. When I quickly read TGR in the 90s I said it was good. Reading TGR and the HSTGR by Brian Kim in 2007 and then “How to find what you love to do and get paid doing” it by Brian Kim in 2008 made me see and fully understand that this is it, this is the way to be successful.

The HSTGR and the HSTGR workbook provide a framework for step by step actions to take to be successful. I started to exercise (especially, lift weights) again, eat nutritious food, read and watch other information on success.

Just me getting back up and taking these next steps on MY own path is for me a big success. I am still in the process of being successful in living my purpose and entire life vision. I’m on my path, the path that I created and decided upon, and going in the right direction as I take action every day.

I am currently as I write this taking the next step out of my now or never moment and I’m in the process of finally getting a better job to start making more money. Then I will create and start my own business.

This is for me a second “Rocky” moment where I go on to prove to myself that I have what it takes to be successful thinking for myself, making my own decisions, and taking action to live my own life. I know I will be even more successful because of what I learn and put into action from briankim(.net).

When I am officially living my own successful life and my overall life vision over the next few years, the sooner the better, I will let you know. “The Hidden Secret in Think and Grow Rich” and “How to finally find what YOU love to do and get paid for doing it: The definitive guide to finding and successfully pursuing your passion” by Brian Kim are now 100 percent my way of thinking, taking actions, lifestyle, and living every day as I live MY own successful life.

Thank you Brian Kim.”

From,

Brian


A very powerful story indeed. I want to thank Brian again for writing it and allowing it to be put on the blog. I really appreciate it.

There’s a lot of great things in here that you can see and one of the things that really stood out to me was when Brian had that realization:

“Even if I have family and friends that I am still the only one in the ring. Other people, even God, is not going to do things for me.”

It’s a great thing when a person realizes this. At first glance, it may seem like a very daunting and somewhat disheartening realization but if you stay with it a bit more, you find it very empowering.

Personal responsibility – it’s the ultimate foundation of self improvement indeed.

Another point that I felt Brian really made was that he’s beginning to do take control of HIS own life and do the things that HE wants to do after doing all the things that he felt he was “supposed to do” by those around him, particularly during his years in school.

I feel that this is often a divergence that many young people face today – to do what they want to do or to do what the hottest trend dictates them to do, to do what their parents tell them to do, their teachers, their friends, etc. Like he said:

“..no matter what others (parents, relatives, friends, teachers) may tell you to do, after the age of 18 or whatever, do what feels right for you, YOU live YOUR own life and you do what you want to do, it’s YOUR LIFE.”

The last thing that I want to briefly touch upon among all the other great things in his story is the situation surrounding his changed view of life. It came about during one of the most difficult and troubling times in his life.

“Everyone kept asking me where I worked and I felt bad because I had nothing good to say. I was feeling old beyond my years. Things got so bad financially by 2007 that the relatives I was doing my best to love looked at me like a loser and a financial failure. (Crying again).

This is what hurt me the most. I planned and thought it was just a few years away until I improved financially. When my relatives looked at me like a failure this is when I had my “Rocky” realization. It was like a knock out punch from my relatives. It felt like it broke me from the core of my being. It was like I was on the mat in the center of the ring of life and this was it. I was hurt so much by the ones I loved, that I felt like I was dying. “

When times are tough, when you feel like you’re down and out and can’t get up – that right there provides you with one of the greatest opportunities to change your life.

It’s right there.

But it’s a dangerous position to be in because you can go either way but if you handle it right, you can make it work FOR you and that’s exactly what Brian did here. And notice what he said in retrospect about that time in his life when he felt so down.

“I would have to say that this has been a blessing because it has contributed to me finding myself and my identity. I did get back on my feet as a man. I was standing again in the summer of 2007.”

He found himself and his identity. He’s back on his feet. And he’s living HIS life.

How’s he doing now? Here’s a follow up email from the very man himself.


“I feel an inner peace, joy, and increased energy now that I am on my own path in life. I am happy and motivated to take more actions every day.

Two years ago I wondered if being voted most likely to succeed was a bad thing. Then, after reading “HSTGR” it enabled me to reframe it into, other people have seen the qualities of success in me, I believe I can and will be a success, how can I use this to my advantage? I make the decision to associate myself with success, and it will be a reminder to me to be a success.

It’s important to clarify that I am a very genuine, giving, and generous person. When I am saying all this about myself it is in the context of finding and claiming my own identity. Many of my desires involve me getting more so that I can be/do/and give more. I get along with and still love my relatives. I even recently put around two months on hold while I did a few things for relatives and friends that were previously scheduled because I knew when I got those things done that it would help them and free me up when it was done.

I take complete responsibility for my past/present/future. Also, I know that I need a team of people to be really successful. I am looking for Master Mind members to form a team. I am being more outgoing talking to more people. I mentioned your site, briankim(.net), to 7 people this week, including two in other states. I plan to eventually say to you when I achieve my one major definite purpose. There could eventually be a follow-up article :) .

Thank you for your encouragement, appreciation, time, and putting my story on your blog. May it in some way benefit the lives of other people.

Respectfully,”

Brian


Thank YOU Brian.

And I know that for some people, somewhere out there, this story will be exactly what they were looking to read and will also hopefully provide them with the hope, encouragement and motivation they need.

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