In a world where people walk around listening to their iPod with their white earphones, wrapped up in their own little world, in a world where iPhones, Facebook, text messaging, and Twitter take up everybody’s time, we seemed to have lost the art of talking to strangers in real life.
We seemed to have formed this “technological bubble” around ourselves, not letting anybody inside aside from those we currently know in real life. Sure we can let others in that we don’t know through Facebook, but it’s not the same.
As all this goes on, it gets harder and harder to talk to strangers and as we know, people skills is one of the most important skills you will ever learn.
The easiest way to develop that skill is obviously to get in the habit of being comfortable talking to strangers and here’s the key.
You’re not talking to TOTAL strangers but people you meet on a consistent basis but haven’t talked to YET.
The bus driver, the person who makes your lunch at Subway, the people in the locker room of your gym, the waiter at the restaurant you like, your car mechanic’s assistant, etc.
Yes you could talk to total strangers out of the blue, but there’s no real potential to build upon in terms of creating a relationship. Yes, you can chit chat with the person next to you in line at the supermarket but once they leave, they leave. Chances are you’ll never see them again.
BUT, those people you meet on a CONSISTENT basis but haven’t talked to yet – those people provide potential for solid relationships.
You can build something tangible that will benefit both parties and last for many years.
So take a mental tour of how your day goes and see who those people might be.
If you take the bus to work at a certain time everyday, maybe it’s the bus driver.
If you always go to the gym at a certain time, maybe it’s the person who’s always there, lifting in the corner.
If you eat at the same restaurant every Friday night, maybe the waiter or the manager.
Once you have those people in sight, don’t throw the whole kitchen sink at them and tell them your life story.
Nothing fancy at first. Just the usual Hi, how are you, what’s your name etc.
Always remember their name.
Ask some simple questions about them and then when you go back, build on those conversations.
If you’re like me and have a hard time remembering names and details about people, take some time to write down some notes on your phone – the location, person, name, and some points on your conversation after you have it.
Why do this?
Well, aside from the joys of connecting with another human being and building a strong relationship, you’ll find there’s many intangible benefits as well.
I know this person who’s a MASTER at this. He’s naturally sociable and is the guy who pretty much knows everybody and you can’t imagine the kinds of things he gets as a result – great freebies, discounts, job referrals, and the thing is, that’s not the motivation behind him wanting to get to know people. He’s genuinely curious about other people and wants to get to know them better and all that other stuff comes as a byproduct.
You’ll find that any type of natural relationship growth goes from knowing to liking to trusting.
You can “know” a person simply through familiarity in terms of proximity. Liking can happen pretty quickly too but it’s trusting that takes the longest time to develop but as you talk to more and more strangers everyday, you can even shorten that time to trust as well.
And the thing is, it’s not as hard as you think when it comes to forming new relationships with strangers, so long as they are people you meet on a consistent basis but haven’t talked to yet.
Think about it.
Everyone else plays the same game of hiding within the “technological bubble” so when a person breaks free and offers out their proverbial hand – that stands out.
And it’s refreshing. It really is in this day and age.
Back in the day, this was normal. People didn’t have technology to entertain them so talking to strangers was the usual form of entertainment, but now, due to the advent of technology, real world has taken a back seat to the virtual world.
Forget the concept of strangers.
Instead, look at the people you meet on a consistent basis but haven’t talked to yet, as great potential for great relationships.
It only takes one person to make the first move.
Let it be you.
