I ran across an article on CNN the other day about how parents were shielding their kids from the pain of exclusion. It said something about how nobody could mention having a party if they didn’t invite everyone in their class. That way, nobody would feel left out. It also said something about how scores were not kept during games and that everybody would get trophies at the end.
I couldn’t bear reading the rest of the article.
What the heck is going on? Seriously. Do we really want our children to fail later on in life?
After reading that article, I felt the need to write an open letter to all American parents, as well as to those who feel as if life has conspired against them to make them fail at every endeavor, so here it is.
Life isn’t fair.
And IT SHOULD BE THAT WAY.
If you shield children from this crucial lesson, they WILL grow up to be VERY weak minded individuals. They’ll accept mediocrity. They’ll keel over at the first sign of trouble. They will NOT grow. They will NOT succeed.
If you look back at every single person who has succeeded in any area of life and trace their steps back, you will realize that there were numerous obstacles, roadblocks, and problems that they encountered before they reached the attainment of their goals.
People usually tend to ignore this harsh bitter reality and only focus on the goal that was accomplished. They look at great feats that were achieved and chalk it up to luck, or “he’s got connections”, or “he was just at the right place at the right time”.
The real truth is that person has undergone several trials that have led them to the achievement of their goal. It was a necessary process of growth they had to go through in order to reach the pinnacle of their success.
It was not elective. It was mandatory.
Rather than curling up in a ball and crying and complaining how life wasn’t fair, they learned from these trials, bounced back, and moved ever so forward to the attainment of their goals.
Life is unfair because it truly serves your best interests.
You must be aware of this fact. Overcoming the “unfairness” of life is akin to steel that is constantly hammered under extreme heat and pressure. The result is a blade so sharp, that it can cut through anything, and I mean anything; any problem, any obstacle, any setback.
The trials people face due to life being unfair are actually opportunities in disguise in order to grow stronger.
If you keep on getting stronger by learning from life’s unfair lessons, you will eventually be like that sharp blade and cut through any obstacle or path that comes to you in life.
What better gift to instill in your children than that? People need that extreme heat and pressure in order to become stronger. And the only way to instill this paradigm is to use your power of choice to change your perception of life being unfair.
Humans have the unique ability to assign any meaning they want to any event in their life.
It’s what separates man from beast.
You must own the frame here.
Instead of looking at the heat and pressure of the unfairness of life as something painful to be avoided, look at it as something to be embraced, to be thankful for.
The key is not to complain when the going gets tough.
The key is to be THANKFUL when the going gets tough.
Thankful for what you have.
Thankful for the opportunity to grow.
Thankful for the chance to become that much stronger.
Thankful for the opportunity to learn to overcome any obstacle, to crawl that extra inch, to lift that last rep, to dig deep and to go the distance when you think you can’t.
It is this simple fact that drives people to succeed.
When I was in school, I was always one year younger than the rest of the kids and my growth spurt didn’t really hit till college. As a result, I was bullied mercilessly all throughout middle school and high school. Did it hurt? Of course it did.
I dreaded going to school everyday. I walked the halls in fear and cringed whenever I felt the bullies were nearby. I was constantly humiliated in front of my friends and classmates.
But you know what? I am EXTREMELY GRATEFUL for it. If I were to come face to face with my bullies today, I would not punch their lights out. I would shake their hand and buy them a beer for without them, I wouldn’t be where I was today.
Bullying led me to one of my favorite hobbies: lifting weights.
Lifting weights has taught me to always up the ante every time I lift, to focus, to concentrate, and to pound out that last rep when the voice inside your head tells you that you can’t. The pump, the rush of endorphins, and the change it has on your way of life is something that I never would have had if I didn’t experience those hardships in school.
I would’ve never experienced the joys and benefits of bodybuilding. I would’ve never seen how it can sharpen you mentally as well as physically. I would’ve never learned how it teaches you to stick to one goal and build little by little to the inevitable attainment of it.
Truth be told, we all go through tough times in life. It’s not just you and me.
The key here is to own the frame.
That’s where your immense power lies as a human being.
Own the frame.
Be grateful for the unfairness of life and learn from it. Embrace it. Stop fighting it.
Make it serve YOU.
Great trials will forge great success, but only when they are properly framed.
This shift in paradigm is what is greatly needed.
I shudder to think how the next generation will turn out to be if the majority of children are shielded from the unfairness of life. Their very quality of life hangs in the balance. It’s a travesty to deprive them of one of life’s greatest gifts: the gift to grow.
Parents should not shield their child from the unfairness of life. They should teach them to use their power of choice here. They should teach them how to own the frame and to point out that they can learn something from any setbacks they experience in order to move forward.
And if that habit is instilled early on, it’s a sure guarantee that they will have essentially secured their child’s success later on in life.
