How to Not Let Your Job Define You - Think Deep

How to Not Let Your Job Define You

A lot of people, especially in the Western world, define themselves by their job. It’s practically ingrained in the culture. You’re at a party and after names are introduced, this question inevitably comes up.

What do you do?

Look at the usual answers given.

I’m an architect.

I’m an engineer.

I’m a programmer.

Look at the language – I AM.

So what happens when these people get laid off or retire? Suddenly, they have an identity crisis. They don’t know who they are because over the years, their self identity was tied to their job.

Anything that can be taken away from you is not a good thing to base your self identity on because you once that’s gone, you’re thrown for a loop. The cord has been cut and now you’re just floating around. People who define themselves by family roles – that’s shaky ground too because if their spouse or kids or siblings or parents pass away, who are they now?

So the clues seem to be pointing to the internal. Your self identity must be based on something within you that can never be taken away from you.

So what is that?

How can you find it?

Well, there are two ways to find it.

First, ask yourself what do you believe. What do you TRULY believe?

And to make sure you actually believe it, see if you’re taking actions that reflect it.

When you find something that fits both answers – you have a foundation to base your self identity on.

What usually happens is over time, what we believe, what we value in life changes so our identity changes as well.

It’s normal in early adult years for people to base their identity on jobs, degrees, money, status, possessions, etc., and when people start a family, those family roles start to define them, and after the kids are all grown up, and death is getting closer and closer, people begin to really hone in on this question of what they truly believe.

They start looking, researching, trying to find meaning in their lives.

Some find it in religion. Some find it in leaving the world a better place for the next generation. Some find it in championing a worthy cause they believe in, a cause that they’ve personally overcome and want to help others overcome.

What you believe, that internal foundation to base your identity on – it should transcend the self.

Beliefs just based solely around you, involving you, concerning you – that’s a very limited thing that proves to be unfulfilling over time.

Now people who find that they believe in something bigger than themselves are more immune to the pitfalls of defining themselves by “smaller” things like jobs, possessions, status, etc. All of that stuff almost doesn’t really matter.

And when they truly believe in that something bigger than themselves in terms of following through on it, they have that core, that nucleus, that foundation that anchors them. Nothing outside of them can affect them anymore. They don’t have a crisis when they’re laid off because their job doesn’t define them. They don’t feel bad if they don’t have nice things because those things don’t define them either. They don’t fall apart when everything outside of them doesn’t go the way they want it to.

They know who they are.

They know what they believe.

And they follow through on it.

Despite whatever happens in life.

They’re going to keep doing it. They’re going to keep following through. It proves to be the anchor that holds them steady during the windy storms of life.

It’s a very freeing mindset when you discover who you truly are.

Because once you know this, you’re very secure and confident as your identity isn’t based on some wobbly thing outside of you that’s always in flux.

Everything out there slowly conforms to help support what you believe and you begin to experience that incredible feeling that life is on your side, that it’s helping you out.

And when “bad” things happen, you’re not lost. You still know who you are. It’s just a matter of getting back on track. It’s like you lost a tool, not your hand.

People who define themselves by anything outside of themselves run the risk of losing their figurative hands.

They feel like they lost a part of themselves.

Look within. Find your core. Find your anchor.

And you’ll easily be able to weather the storms that those without anchors cannot.

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