As human beings, we have the capability to think, to reason, to create. We don’t just do things automatically.
We can come up with great ideas, plan great things to do, pursue the highest goals, but the biggest problem here is that sometimes our thinking might very well work against us in these types of situations.
In other words, there might be times when we don’t trust ourselves when we make our own decisions.
Kids who were never allowed to do anything on their own and always had their parents do everything for them tend to be the ones who never learned to trust themselves.
If they ever think of a great idea, they immediately shoot it down, telling themselves it will never work. They rarely trust their own counsel and rely on others to do the decision making for them.
By doing so, they’ve instilled a habit that consistently weakens their inner core. They lose their personal power.
And what happens during the process is that others begin to sense their inner division and become wary of trusting them simply because they don’t trust themselves.
It’s far, far easier to put the trust and the weight of decision making on someone else.
If it turns out the decision is wrong, you can always point the finger and wipe your hands clean of the mess.
However, if the decision turns out to be right, then you’ll feel even more disempowered for not trusting yourself and for not having the courage to make that decision and follow through on it.
Most people don’t want to trust themselves in the decisions they make because if they do, and the plan doesn’t turn out the way they wanted it to, they feel that pain, that shame, that disappointment and then they tell themselves that never again will they trust themselves. They retreat back into their safe cocoon.
And that’s what will probably happen the first time around, the first time you really start trusting yourself in your own decision making. It will probably not go as you expected, but that’s fine. It’s expected. Why?
It’s because you don’t really have any experience yet. You need to get more “data” by trusting your decisions again and again and again and following through on them. When you do this over time, all that experience starts to accumulate and it will prove to “guide” your future decision making process, honing it, and making it better and better as you go along.
People get “stung” by the results in the early stages of trusting themselves, but rather than retreat back into the cocoon, it’s important to remember to press on for the very reasons we just discussed.
Now there is a way to minimize the pain of the results that appear in the early stages of trusting our own judgment.
We can gather information from books, videos, and from other people regarding the decision we want to make. Taking all that into account, we can then make the best call we can and proceed from there.
However, the most important thing to remember here is that you have to trust your OWN decisions. That way you FULLY experience the very fruits of your decision making.
You can’t let others decide for you.
Moreover, if you consistently look outside yourself for validation or guidance, you can easily be used as a pawn by other people so they can fulfill their own agendas.
Realize that the only thing that happens when you start trusting yourself is that you’re going to get results. That’s it. Just results. Nothing really bad or good. Just results. You have the power to take what you will from that.
If you find it hard to trust yourself on big decisions, start small. Order something you’ve never ordered before the next time you go out and eat. Order a completely different drink, appetizer, meal, dessert, etc. Get a completely different experience. If you don’t like some of the things you order, that’s fine. Now you know what not to order the next time you go out and you get a better idea of what your palate is like as well.
Cultivate the quality of curiosity. See what happens. Branch out and try new activities, try new sports, get your hands dirty. All of that will begin to accrue as experience and that’s ultimately going to be the compass that will guide your future decisions for the better.
When your decisions work out, you deposit a HUGE amount of trust in yourself.
If not, you fully experience the pain so you don’t do things of that nature again.
You learn from it and your experience account will grow that much larger and the shock of the pain for trusting yourself with each decision you make that doesn’t turn out the way you want to, will grow that much smaller.
As your experience grows, your decision making will become better and better, yielding better and better results and you’ll wonder why you didn’t start trusting yourself sooner before in the first place.
