How to Get Back the Feeling of Control In Your Life - Think Deep

How to Get Back the Feeling of Control In Your Life

We live in a world where we’re bombarded with things that seem out of our control. The economy is tanking, crime is rampant, we have global warming, you name it, you’ve probably heard it. It’s really easy to feel anxious and stressed since technology has allowed the media to expose all this information to us 24/7. We feel stressed because after seeing all this, we get the feeling that we have little to no control in our lives with regard to these matters.

We all want some form of control in our lives, to attain a certain sense of calmness and peace of mind in this hectic world we live in today. Perhaps there have been times when you felt like you were in control, but you find that it slowly erodes due to the constant exposure of news that reminds us what we are not in control of.

As a result, it’s easy to fall into victim mode, to blame others, to make excuses, and inadvertently rob ourselves of that powerful idea of personal power.

So how do you get back that feeling of control in your life?


Just stop.

And close your eyes.

And take notice of how you’re breathing.

Then focus on controlling it by drawing in slow, deep breaths.

Control your breathing and you’ll be taking the first best step you can take in getting back control of your life simply because breathing is so fundamental to life itself. It’s the quickest and easiest thing you can do to get back some measure of control in your life and reconnect the mind and body while you’re at it. When you concentrate on controlling your breathing, the world slows down, your head stops spinning, and everything that reminds you of what you’re not in control of will get blocked out as your sole focus is on your breathing.

It’s a great stress reliever for that simple fact – it puts you back in control of something that’s important in your life that you can control. We tend to stress over the things we feel we have no control over, but when we control what we can while blocking out all those things we feel we can’t, it’s a deadly one-two punch to the overall feeling of not being in control.

The second thing to do is to take the idea of controlling your breathing to the next level by exercising. You take it to the next level in the sense that you take control of your entire body which is again, something within your control. You can control how much exercise you do, how intensely you do it, what kind of exercise to do etc., and again, it’s something you can FOCUS your mind on, canceling out all the things you feel like you have no control over in the process, plus you get the good endorphin rush to counter any negative emotions of helplessness that may arise as well.

But sooner or later, no matter how much you concentrate on breathing and exercising, you can’t block the things that you feel are out of your control forever, so what to do then?

Let them in, but FIRST, realize that there is giant FILTER standing in between YOU and everything out there you feel you can’t control.

The problem here is that media automatically acts as the filter for YOU. The media tells you what the message is from all the news out there and as a result, you feel stressed, because you never had a chance to control what that message was in the first place.

It went straight through.

You accepted the meaning others put on it.

Now is the time to step back and say wait.

I DECIDE how I’m going to view this event.

I DECIDE how I’m going to view the things I can’t control.

I know that I can’t control it, but I know I can control my REACTION to it.

And therefore, I know I can establish my own frame of how I want to view and act from it.

Once you have that proper frame put in place, now it’s time to stop reacting and to start ACTING simply because taking action based on the frame that you established reinforces your sense of control, because you controlled what the frame was and now you’re controlling your actions that are based on that frame.

When you take action, it’s important to remember to FOCUS, because remember, focus blocks out everything except what you’re focusing on.

Focus on doing ONE thing at a time from the list of things you decided to do based on the frame you decided to establish. It will help to block out any temptations of accepting other people’s frame that they might impose on you.

With the biggest drop in history of the U.S stock market occurring yesterday, with the failure to pass the 700 billion dollar bailout, with the whole mess going on in the financial markets, it’s easy for people to start feeling like they have no control over their lives. The economy is bad, banks are restricting lending, credit isn’t flowing, jobs are being cut, inflation is getting higher, and it’s as if the whole kitchen sink has been thrown at not only the American people, but all those around the world as the American economy is integrated into the global economy.

Amidst all this economic doom and gloom, it’s easy to feel like everything’s out of control, but it’s important as what was outlined in the beginning of this article to just stop.


And breathe.

To focus on the one simple thing you can control and that’s fundamentally important to your life.

Then, to take it to the next level by exercising, so as to get an even better sense of control, while enjoying a stronger mind and body, as well as the euphoric effects of the endorphin rush that ensues.

Now it’s time to decide how you will view all the economic news. How will you filter it? What kind of frame will you establish?

Some might view it as an opportunity to take a better look at their finances and to really take control over it.

Some might view it as an opportunity that can serve as a catalyst to kick them in the butt to get them out of that trap of complacency by seeing how they can increase their skill sets or start that side business to earn extra income.

Some might view it as an opportunity to really count their blessings.

However they view it, whatever frame they choose to establish, they will take action accordingly with regard to it.

In the end, we find that there’s a lot we can control in our lives and a lot we can’t. It’s only when we know the difference between the two by acting on what we can control, and establishing a frame on what we can’t and deciding what we can do based on that and actually getting FOCUSED enough on doing it, one step at a time, can we get back that much sought important feeling of control in our lives until we find ourselves eloquently stating the words of William Ernest Henly:

“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”

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