Many people succumb to the dark side of self improvement.
What’s the dark side?
Reading the information but never applying it.
Then reading some more thinking that will solve the problem, but again, never applying it.
Loop this a million times.
Welcome to the dark side of self improvement, or as I like to call it, the “black hole” of self improvement, a place that most people seem to never escape from.
Some try to escape by maybe applying some of what they learn, but they never seem to stick with it or have any success, so they go back to reading. Down the abyss they go. They turn to yet another technique, tool, or tip to get them to where they want to be.
What’s the problem here?
It’s that they’re focusing on the how FIRST, not the why.
Learn the why FIRST, THEN the how.
Stop trying to skip step 1 by only looking for the tips and techniques. Learn the correct whys because that will guide you to the correct hows.
I know it sounds silly, but many people, including me, fall for it. It’s easy. It’s easy to not do the research and have somebody hand over the answers to us, but WE NEVER LEARN by doing that. We must make the effort to learn ourselves. Really learn. Then the how part comes naturally.
Take for example the skinny guy trying to gain weight. He asks how? One person tells him to do 100 push ups a day. The skinny guy is very skeptical but he does it maybe for a couple of days but gets frustrated because there are no results showing.
What this skinny guy is doing is looking for the how, when he should be looking for the why FIRST. Why do people get bigger muscles? It’s because they build it primarily through heavy resistance training (obviously there’s more to it than that including nutrition but this is to prove a simple point).
Ah! Now that you understand the why, the how becomes evident. It’s not to use the light weight of your body, but to use heavy weights for heavy resistance. The how to part will then involve working each muscle group with weights you can lift 8-10 reps with for 3 sets. Once the why was understood, the correct how manifested.
I hope this is making sense now.
Understanding why is incredibly crucial. So often, we read self improvement books and articles that say “Write down your goals” or “Set small goals and work upwards” or “Trust your gut”. I was never satisfied with the books that just told you to do it without any good reason. I wanted to know why. Some books gave out a reason or two but it wasn’t good enough for me. Only when I was offered a good explanation for the why was I able to apply the how. I then actually took action by writing down my goals, by setting those small goals, and trusting my gut. When the why is clearly known, drilled, and accepted, you easily take action, which is your ticket out of the dark side.
For example, when you were a kid and came home after playing baseball for hours on end in the hot summer and you were hungry, what did mom tell you to do before eating?
“Wash your hands!”
“I don’t want to. I’m hungry!”
“Just do it!”
Ask your mom why you should wash your hands and if your mom does a good enough job of explaining disease, bacteria, germs and the potential harmful effects it can have on you, you WILL wash your hands without her having to tell you ever again.
Now we understand the fact that why is extremely crucial. What about the how?
The how to part must be explained equally as well. It’s not enough to explain why, you’ve got to explain the how to part equally as well.
For example, we hear all the time that we need to “Find What You Love To Do” and “Believe and You’ll Succeed”. We know why we should do those things, but how? That drove me nuts. People have made attempts at both, but they weren’t enough for me so I just wrote the how-to parts of those articles.
You’ll actually find that a lot of my articles focus on the why and the how because that’s precisely what’s needed. You don’t need another shallow article that says the key to success is “Just do it”. It’s more than that now. You’re mature enough to digest solid food instead of junk food.
If I feel that the why is clearly understood, I write on the how. If I feel the how is clearly understood, I write about the why. In case both aren’t understood, I write about both. If you were to classify my writing, that’s how it would probably be classified. Now you can get a better understanding of why I write what I write.
Going back on topic, we realize the reason many people get sucked into the dark side of self improvement is not that they’re lazy – it’s just that they don’t have the correct information. It’s not that you can’t take action; it’s that the information you’re reading is not strong enough. When it’s strong enough, and what I mean by strong enough is that it clearly explains the why and the how, you WILL take action naturally.
What’s needed is complete comprehension on a deep level. I’m talking about really understanding why you should apply what’s written in an article and ONCE that’s explained clearly enough to you that you accept it as fact, THEN the how becomes relevant.
For example, I see people read tons of articles and books that stress the importance of focus. Yet, despite reading all that literature, they go ahead and scatter their power over the trivial many. They try to do 15 projects at once. I admit. I was guilty as charged with doing this. I read all about focus in the books, but never applied it, (what can I say? I’m ambitious). The magnifying glass analogy for focus was not enough for me. It wasn’t strong enough for me to understand why. That’s what drove me to write my article on focus in order to save people the trouble I had experienced. I heard the advice but never applied it because nobody explained why and even if they did, it wasn’t good enough for me. If the why is good enough, you’ll easily be motivated to do the how.
You’ll find that some whys are extremely superficial. That’s not strong enough to deter you from the dark side of learning but never applying. Remember, the why must be strong and convincing enough so that it gets embedded in you and THEN you will easily follow through on the how.
It’s just how the human mind works.
Tell someone to do X.
The first thing that pops in their head is “Why should I?”
Provide a strong enough why and it gets accepted.
What’s next?
How?
Provide an effective enough how and you’re 99% there.
You just need execution which you will do naturally, PROVIDED that the why and how are strong enough.
That’s why those simple self improvement articles don’t help.
Example:
Action is the Key to Success
Just do it. If you don’t do anything, you’ll never get anywhere.
Write a plan and follow it.
You’ll succeed.
The end.
Ok. Did that tell you anything you didn’t already know? Did it give you any profound understanding? Did it explain why? It did, but it was extremely superficial, yet you’ll find a lot of people will feed off of this. This stuff is like popcorn.
You want meat and potatoes. The meat and potatoes is clearly explaining the why and the how in great detail.
Realizing this, I made sure that when I wrote my book, that I would clearly state the reasons why The Hidden Secret was what it was, and once that was established, clearly provide the how to part so that people would naturally execute The Hidden Secret.
Truly understand the why. THEN you’ll find it easy to apply the how.
