Gratitude is one of those concepts that’s highly touted in the self improvement world and rightfully so. Gratitude makes us appreciate of what we have, puts us in a positive state of mind, humbles us, and makes us aware of how truly blessed we really are.
But how do we cultivate it?
Cultivating gratitude is a tricky thing because we hear things like “make a list of all the things you’re grateful for everyday”. It sounds great in theory, but when you actually sit down and do it, it works in the beginning, but you find yourself repeating the same things over and over again and it starts to get old. You adapt to it. You don’t feel as grateful as you did in the beginning as time passes by.
Then, there’s the gratitude that comes when something “shocks” us out of our daily routine. We hear of stories or witness unfortunate events that happen to those around us. Maybe we hear someone we know got cancer, maybe we hear somebody we know got laid off after working for many years at a company, maybe someone lost their wife to a car accident. Those events make us do a double take and really focus on the things we tend to overlook on a daily basis in our lives. Events that shock us tend to have a profound effect on us in terms of making us feel truly grateful, but again it will wear off as time goes by.
All this then begs the question then of how do we really cultivate an attitude of gratitude if we find ourselves constantly getting used to our lives and sometimes, even taking it for granted as the days go by?
How can we cultivate that real feeling of gratitude?
If you compare the two instances above in terms of how “potent” the feeling of gratitude is, the events that shock us tend to have a greater impact than sitting down and writing what we’re grateful about, purely because of the shock value.
Maybe you experienced a near death car accident, maybe you found out if you boarded that train, you would be dead as it crashed later that day, or maybe you discovered that somebody you know got diagnosed with a terminal illness. You really start feeling grateful after those events occur because they have a way of completely rewiring your thought processes and the way you look at life, but only for a little while.
Pretty soon, the daily grind of life gets in the way again and that feeling of authentic gratitude fades away into the back of your mind.
Seeing as how the events that shock us provide us with a more potent form of gratitude, it only makes sense we start from there to cultivate that true feeling of gratitude.
When the events come that shock you and make you feel truly grateful for all you have, it’s crucial that you save those states of gratitude.
You can save them by writing down your thoughts and feelings, recording them in audio or video, but whatever you do, save that state. Save that state where you truly feel blessed for everything in your life.
You must seize that “fire of gratitude” and record it. Really let it all out. Write about how the event has impacted you, write about how truly grateful you are of the things you have in your life, write about how it has truly affected your state of mind.
If you ever feel you’re taking things for granted, go back to your journal and read what you’ve written, and you’ll soon find yourself back in that state of gratitude.
Then after it’s recorded, act on that gratitude. Whatever the event has made you realize, act on it to truly reinforce just how grateful you really are.
If you’ve avoided a near death experience, act on the gratitude that follows by resolving to make the most of your life, by telling your family and friends how much they mean to you, by resolving to follow that dream you’ve been putting off.
Whatever event has shocked you, act on the gratitude accordingly. Action reinforces your feelings and that feeling of gratitude will tend to last longer and become ingrained as a part of you, rather than fade away in the background noise of the daily grind of life.
When you act on those feelings of gratitude, you become more positive, you truly begin to value all you have in your life, and all those great feelings and benefits will spillover into other areas of your life. Things won’t get to you as much. You don’t sweat the small stuff. You don’t hold any grudges. You appreciate life for what it’s all about and you make the most of it.
If you act on your gratitude, you’ll find that you’ll get even more blessings. Stronger relationships, better health, a more resolved outlook for life, and the next time those events come that shock you, you realize just how much you have now, compared to before, which makes you that much more grateful, which makes you act on that gratitude again and the cycle will then engage in your favor.
Really feeling grateful is one of those things that we can, to some extent, “force”, but it usually takes something of shock value to wake us up, so we can open our eyes and clearly see the things we tend to take for granted.
It’s only when you save those reactions to those shocking events and act on them that you truly begin to cultivate the attitude of gratitude.
