People feel entitled. Spoiled. They’re naive. Immature. These may be some of the reasons some people have the attitude of expecting the complete package in the beginning.
That complete package could be the perfect job. The perfect business. The perfect mate.
It’s in the movies right?
You’ll find your one true love, they’ll match everything on your checklist, you’ll have the best wedding and honeymoon ever, and live happily ever after right?
That’s how it’s supposed to be.
But the one thing that’s missing from all this that doesn’t jive well with the easy, shortcut mentality that’s so pervasive in our society today is the process of growth.
I think marriage is the perfect metaphor for this. We’ve been raised to believe it’s all puppies and rainbows but divorce rates say otherwise.
Everybody has their own checklist and if their potential partner doesn’t meet them all, it’s out the door for them. They want their partner to completely understand them, cater to their every need, do great things for them 24/7, etc.
But as you know, they’re in for a rude awakening.
And if they’re lucky, they’ll realize what some others have discovered.
That great marriage, that complete package, that great job, that great business, those great group of friends, – ALL that, whatever complete package you desire and expect, ALL of them were NOT given in their complete form in the beginning, but were BUILT over time.
That great marriage takes time to build. Time for arguments, understanding the other person’s side, empathizing, working on communication, fights, habits, routines, it’s through all that, that process of growth, that a great marriage is built.
You and your partner both work on it and create it together.
But if you’re blind to this process of growth, if you expect the complete package in the beginning, you’re missing out on a TON of opportunities to BUILD that almost complete package (because nothing is perfect).
You don’t take the jobs that you think are beneath you because you expect the complete package job from the beginning. You pass on potential mates that share the same major values that you have, but have little things that turn you off. You miss out on creating great relationships with those people.
But if you understand this process of growth and adopt it, it’s like you’re wearing glasses that can spot opportunities now. Glasses that can spot diamonds in the rough that can be cut and polished.
And by keeping this process of growth, this process of building in mind, you save yourself a lot of heartache too because when you go through the “expecting the complete package” route, and when it inevitably doesn’t go the way you want it to, that can leave you feeling devastated.
It happens to a lot of people after the honeymoon wears off. People don’t fight for their marriage and honor their commitments. It’s far easier for them to go to the courthouse and check off the irreconcilable differences box.
Now on the off chance that you do get the complete package at once, by let’s say for example, that your first investment in a start up does well, that doesn’t mean all your future investments will go well too.
In fact, you’ll probably lose your money.
You never went through the process of growth, the process of clarifying what makes a great investment from a bad one through various trials and errors.
You have false confidence because you got lucky once and you think it’ll carry over but it won’t. It sets a dangerous precedent that you think you can do it again and again.
The easiest example is lottery winners. Why do the vast majority of them end up broke? They haven’t gone through the process of understanding how to manage their money. If they DID go through that experience, then they’ll be FAR more equipped to handle that “complete package” that came out of the blue.
They’ll know to account for taxes, not to spend recklessly first, but to look for investments that can supply them with more money, pay off their debts, save a certain percentage, set aside a small amount for splurging, get some professionals to give them advice, etc.
They’ll be the ones who will able to make the most of their opportunity.
When you go through the process of growth, it’s satisfying in way you can’t describe. It’s solid food for the soul. You’re building something. It’s got a foundation. You know it’s worth it.
You’ll know how to get the complete package sooner than before because you’ve gone through the process of growth.
Should your partner pass away and you decide to look for another mate, you’ll have a much better start because you’ve been through the process of building a great marriage. The same thing with a business or a job.
But more important than anything else, is that you as a person change.
You can’t get that from anything else.
You begin to develop traits and habits and ways of thinking that could never have been developed otherwise.
The process of growth can feel like a crucible at times, but you emerge stronger than ever before.
It’s so easy in our day and age to envy those who have had the “complete package” given to them, but when you understand the importance of this process of growth, you don’t feel envy for them anymore. You almost feel a kind of pity for them that they will never be tested and come out stronger than ever before.
You don’t want the complete package in the beginning.
It’s a HUGE disservice to you in the long run.
Put on the lens of the process of growth, of the process of building, and you’ll see how you can build your complete package and have it stand the test of time.